Our Love Hate Relationship

Yes that's right, we've all have had this relationship while our children were young. Hopefully you learned your mistake the second time around if you had a second child. Of course I am talking about the dreaded "P" word. PACIFIERS!!!!

We all love them in the beginning. They definitely are a plus to own when you have a new born at home. However past a certain age...THEY ARE NO LONGER NEEDED. This is a big pet peeve of mine! I was guilty of it with the first. Kaelin had her paci until 15mos old. After about a 10mos old she only would get it for naps and bedtime. Unless...and this is the only reason we kept it for so long...she was teething. That little girl did not do the "teething rings", her paci's really helped her during this painful period, though that's not much of an excuse! The minute her two year molars popped through, the paci's went in the garbage.

There are two types of pacifier loving parents. Both fit the "lazy" title but in different ways. The first set of parents are the worse of the two. They are the ones that just stick the pacifier in the mouth to shut the child up. They don't want to take the time to cuddle the child or pick the child up...instead they shove this in their mouth. This is especially the case in the middle of the night. These are the women and men you've heard on the news. I'll never forget when Kaelin was a baby and a 25 year old woman taped her sons pacifier to his mouth one night "because he kept spitting it out"...the result of her ignorance? He died. Seriously...that's just another reason people should be screened when their children are born! That "mother" should be sentenced to death by Pacifier Suffocation!!

Some parents take their love for the pacifiers to the extreme. I'm sorry but if your child is still sucking on a pacifier past the age of one (yes I was guilty, I'm even yelling at myself) SHAME ON YOU!!! It is especially bad if they talk with the pacifier in their mouth! UGH!!! Really?? At the VERY LEAST take the paci away while they are awake!! Yes now that your child is old enough to realize that they are missing it, your battle just got a million times harder. They have proven that past six months there is no NEED for children to have a pacifier. Parents just don't want to listen to the child cry, and therefore give in. Piece of advice...the minute you give in, is the minute they realize they are in control. Not a good thing to let your child have more control then you. Remember you are the parent.

I was PETRIFIED to take Kaelin's pacifier away from her for this reason. I was soo worried she would carry on all night long, and it would be so traumatic for her. Well I couldn't have been more wrong. I told her that other babies needed pacifiers so we needed to give em to the small babies who need them more. I think it took 20min of crying and it was over. She really didn't even fight it! I've heard at the longest three days. Three days of tantrums are worth it. Studies have shown that Pacifier usage can cause permanent damage the growth pattern of infants teeth. Luckily since Kaelin didn't have her paci for long after her teeth came in, we didn't cause much damage. But look at these 2, 3, 4 year old children walking around with a pacifier in their mouth. The ones that talk with it in their mouth...come on parents can't you at the very least make them take it out to talk??? It's like watching someone with a mouth full of food talk, except children are hard to understand period let alone with a mouth full of plastic.

Now I can't just lay blame on parents. The industry is to blame to! Just like the industry pushes formula (this will be another topic) it pushes pacifiers. What happens at the hospital? They have pacifiers for those babies as soon as they come out. Fine! Not a big deal at that age babies need the suckling motion for comfort. However next time you go to the store waltz over to the baby section and look at the pacifiers. Of course they have every shape and size, boy vs girl, with bling, without it, hell even the pacifier holders have gotten beyond just for purpose, they are down right stylish!! Now take a closer look at the age ranges. Newborn, 0-6mon, 6mon +, Then 12mos +, 18mos +. Really? Are you completely serious I'm sorry but when the pacifier itself resembles more of the whole boob rather than just the nipple, that's just getting creepy!

I am ending my rant with a couple of ideas for you parents who are still allowing your child to suck a pacifier, past the point of which it is necessary. Hopefully one of these will help you break your child of their habit! On this note..please don't just throw the pacifier away if you haven't already started limiting it. If your child is using it all day everyday, start by just offering it at naps and bedtime. Then just at bedtime..once you are that far THEN proceed with the following if you choose. A child is not an adult...they don't understand "cold turkey" and to just take it away without gradual weaning will cause both you and your child a lot of stress!!

-Like the one I used with Kaelin: A lot of little babies really need pacifiers, so we need to pack them all up and send them to the babies so that they will feel better!
-The Pacifier fairy is coming tonight and if you surrender your pacifier she will leave you something very special. (if your child has more than one pacifier, let this span out over a couple of nights, and once all pacifiers are gone make sure to reward your child with something EXTRA special)
-Each night before bed cut a little bit of the tip of the pacifier off, In a couple days there will be nothing left to suck. If your child still wants to go to bed with it even without anything to suck on..so be it, at this point it is no longer a issue.
-Take your child to the store, have them pick out a sleep buddy. Anything soft will suffice. Explain to your child that their new sleep buddy needs the pacifier or it wont be able to sleep. Allow them one more night with their paci. The next day cut off the tip and sew the paci to the stuffed animal. Explain when they go to bed that their baby animal needs the paci now.
-Spin off of previous post, Buy a buddy, sew paci on immediately. After about a week, remove the paci from the buddy and your child. They will overcome the paci problem together and if your child is sad because no paci explain to hug their buddy, cuz they know how it feels also.

For further info please check out this link, I personally love the ideas they have!!:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1109555/how_to_get_rid_of_the_pacifier_.html?cat=25


TODAYS DISCLAIMER: I know I have many friends who's children still use a paci. Just so you know, I don't think you are any less of a parent because of this. I love you all and I love your children to pieces. I just hope that maybe I've given you some insight that might make the transition easier on you and your child! After all you'll have to wean them eventually anyway, no one will send their child to school with a pacifier...or at least I hope!!