Off Subject...Marriage

For those of you that don't know, my husband and I married July 19th, 2008. The date of our Wedding was literally 2 days before the year anniversary of our first date. Fast? Maybe to some people. Was I pregnant? Not at all. There was no question after the first month of dating that this was the man I was going to marry. Lucky for me...he felt the same. Three months into our relationship two days before Kaelin's first birthday he told my parents he was going to marry me. Well from then on is history. Now lets cut to the chase!

What does any of that have to do with my blog? Well, in 5 days my daughter, my son and myself are all leaving for Florida for 10days. Yes as you can see in the equation my husband is missing. He does not have enough vacation time, nor does he want to use his sick time at work...therefore he is staying home. This has it's ups and down, pro and cons, good and bad...etc. Good side/up side/pro: My husband has a job and....okay I guess that's the only up side...but it's kind of important so I'll take it. Bad side/down side/major con: How will I possibly live without my husband for 10days????? We do not do well with time apart. The longest we've been apart is 4 days...and each and everyday I cried...


Okay so I didn't finish this before we left and now we are home from vacation and I can go on...as I expected it was horrible. Yes i had fun with my children, but no matter what we did I couldn't help but feel the emptiness. My husband completes our world, he completes our fun. Everything we did just made me wish he was there, and miss him more. Needless to say I was more than ready to come home-and honestly I think so were the children.

The reason I started this blog is for the neigh sayers, the disbelievers...the jealous women (and or men) who do not understand the "relationship" thing. I cried everyday the week before we left just in anticipation of not being with my husband. I cannot tell you how many women I have come across that looked at me and said "one day you'll be glad to go on vacation without your husband". Now why would I EVER want that????? That will NOT happen, and I WILL prove you wrong. If your marriage is like that than why are you married?? We don't do separate things, we don't go out without one another. Why?? Not because he said I cant, or I said he couldn't, not because we don't drink. Because we don't enjoy ourselves without one another. There have been many times I have said to my husband...go ahead, go out I don't care you deserve it. His answer?? "not without you". Last fall my sister and I had to leave our husbands for a long weekend to go south and watch my cousin get married. My sister and I PLANNED a night out with the guys for our husbands, left them money got their ride together...everything. Had we not...they would not have done it.

Another thing I hate?? "oh well you guys are still newly married, it wont be the honeymoon phase forever"....oh well I'm sorry apparently my parents are still in the honeymoon phase because they are still happy, sexually active, and don't like to spend time away from one another. They are our model, this is who my sister and I strive to become. This is what I want my children to have someday!! If you ask me to chose a side, my children or my husband...I will chose my husband. I KNOW...I'm a horrible person but before you jump to conclusions...hear me out!! We are raising our children to conquer the world..ON THEIR OWN!!! I don't want to have to worry that my children cannot care for themselves in their 30's. Will they need help...absolutely! But that's what parents are for...but help isn't a lifestyle..it's short term...get them on their feet again. I'm not married to my children, once they leave the house...god willing...it will stay that way, then what is left? My husband...he is who i CHOSE to spend the rest of my life with...through thick and thin, good and bad...in sickness and in health.

One of the best words of advice I have ever heard is from Will Smith believe it or not. During a interview (I believe I was maybe 16) they asked him about his marriage with Jada and why they have worked when most Hollywood "marriages" fail. His answer? Divorce is not a word, nor an option in our household. Society has "ok'd" the divorce rate..it's okay, you messed up-try again...and you know what if you mess up again, go ahead have another try...in fact-try as many times as you need, and if by the time you die you've broke a million hearts and still haven't found the "one" then apparently love just wasn't for you. SERIOUSLY?? don't take the plunge if you're not 100% sure this is the man/woman you want to spend forever with...not just right now. Do I think that their is only ONE person made for us..absolutely not, but ya know what, there are very few that you know you could spend the rest of your life with as a spouse. I get that some relationships end for GOOD reason...but most, do not!! Men/women shape our outcome, every person that you have dated has been like a pro and con list. Think about it...really. Your first boyfriend to your current (husband or boyfriend) pro and con them... Now. I'll give you a couple minutes.




Okay I bet, as long as your smart, that you Pro list has grown since your first, and your con list has shrank right. Or if at the very least the worst of the cons is not repeated in future companions. If so...congrats-you are headed in the right direction!! What if it's not??? Well apparently you haven't got the dating thing down and now you can take a pointer for the "know it all" Jesika! Yes that's sarcasm masked in a little bit of anger but moving on :o)


I just have to conclude this novel by saying....my marriage is happy and it will stay that way. It will not be easy, there will be bumps in the road...he will hurt me, I will hurt him...but in the end we will not give up..each an everyday I kiss him and tell him I love him, we keep our sex life alive because it is important, we discuss our problems and both of us do not feel like we lost just because we apologize. We're going to have tempers, we're going to have tears...but in the end as long as we have each others arms to fall into-then we have succeeded....and WE are HAPPY. Who wouldn't be if they had our life??