Parenting....for dummies

First off I will start with, by no means am I a perfect mother!! However I do my best to read, watch, learn anything that will better my children and myself so that I don't look ignorant nor my children look like terds hit with clubs to quote my father. Here are just a couple tips:

1. There is a reason that there are height and weight limits on infant carriers...the reason you ask?? FOR S A F E T Y...now lets say it together...F O R S A F E T Y!!! If your child's feet are hanging off the end or if it is ridiculously heavy for you to carry switch to an all in one. They are just as safe if not more. Also your child will enjoy it more, he/she will be able to see what is going on as they pass things...fun for the whole family!!

2. A infants age is measured in months...infants clothes are measured in months. Coincidence?? I think not! Okay I understand that there are some children that will either be too skinny or too tall or too wide to follow this rule to a "T" however they will probably only be the size under or the size above. I need to point out something. If your son is 9 mos old odd are unless he's REALLY small, 3/6mo clothing is not going to be long enough, nor will 3/6mo shirt. To dumb it down even more, if the sleeves to the shirt are at the elbows, the waist of the shirt is at the belly button...guess what?!? ITS TOO SMALL!! Secondly if the jeans are at the knees or are cutting into the belly they two are also too small!!! Then there is the other extreme, if they are falling off the waist or the neck of the shirt is slipping off the shoulder, I bet it is too big. Now to the parents who have the tall and skinny children (I have a nephew who will be this child, however luckily my sister and brother-in-law know how to handle this problem) years ago they discovered that there is something that will fit around the waist that believe it or not will make your pants fit better. It is a Belt!!!!!! What a discovery, probably should be more widely advertised, people might actually learn what they are for. (This invention does not just pertain to children, they make adult sizes also!!)

3. In every language there is a word that you must teach children young. That word is..."no". Sure things may seem cute at first but if you are trying to raise a well rounded child that knows right from wrong and listens.."no" should be the first thing you start to teach. It is harder to be a parent that says no, than a parent that says yes. It actually requires "work" to raise your children. It is also imperative to teach your children to listen!! If you just let your child run wild in the supermarket, mall...then the store should reserve the right to take your child and make you fear for their life in order to teach you a lesson!!! Yes you are never too old to learn a new lesson!! Your child's life is precious and you are putting them in danger because you are not making sure they do not leave your side or sight...there fore if some creep wants to take a child yours will be prime target!!


4. The ancient ritual of manners. I'm sorry but a very key part of our society has gone out the window and you can tell where ever you go. Manners are not EASY by any means to teach. It's very repetitive and a constant battle but will be well worth it the first time someone looks at you and says "She's/He's so polite". Make your child say please, thank you, ask nicely, share. When they don't you don't just give in!! I'm a mother who picks my battles...I don't run a "strict" house hold everything is pretty much up for grabs if you are nice, well behaved, and mind your manners. (of course a lot of that goes out the window when the grandmas are here or my sister) However there is nothing i dislike more than "MINE" or "GIMMIE" or "HEY". Yes my daughter is still learning and yes she has slip ups but they don't go unnoticed. We are constantly trying to teach her and remind her of all of these things! I will promise you that my son is going to do all of these also, AND he will learn chivalry because that has also been forgotten!

5. Parents...MIND YOUR MANNERS!!! I'm sorry but if you come to my house and your child makes a mess. OFFER TO HELP PICK UP. I would never leave your house in shambles I make my child help me pick up the mess that she/he helped make!! It's important to make your child help with this task also because they need to learn that it's not okay to just leave messes at another persons house. If you offer to pick up at my house, more likely than not I will tell you not to bother, the fact that you offered was all I wanted. How can you teach your children manners if you do not have them yourself?

6. Don't put your children in the middle. If you and the father or mother of your child are not together that doesn't mean that you all cant get a long. Yes there are going to be times they drive you nuts and/or aggravate you to no end but that is not something your child needs to see or hear. At one time you cared enough for each other to have a child together, if he/she cheated on you, dumped you, sued you, won the lottery and didn't share-whatever the case. Get over your wounded pride and put your child first, get a long for the sake of your child. Raise them to understand that just because it isn't the "ideal" situation doesn't mean that you can't make the best of it. Hell I know a woman who was abused physically and emotionally by her ex husband and yet she still put her children first! I will explain my exact situation later!

7.Car safety...yes I will admit there have been times my children haven't been in their car seats when they should have been. For that I am guilty and I do apologize but there are times it's just not worth it (going from Mcdonalds parking lot to Walmart or Walmart to Tops..etc) However there a many other things that are "Car Safety" that parents fail to realize.
-you are not supposed to put your child in their car seat with winter coats, snow suits etc. If you do you are putting your children at risk because the straps to the seat no longer fit them properly. There for, god forbid, if you were to get in a wreck your child is more likely to slip from the seat, resulting, most likely, in injury. Please see http://pediatrics.about.com/od/carseats/a/0107_wintercoat.htm for further information.
-the straps are supposed to only fit two fingers between the child's chest. Anything more you will risk them slipping out. Anything less, is bound to be uncomfortable.

8. Leave the baby talk...for the babies!! My Daughters father is guilty of this and no matter how many times I bring it up he just doesn't understand. I'm sorry but past a couple months old it is time to start talking to your children like adults. Not curse words and such but SPEAK CORRECTLY!! Don't call a dog a "woof woof" because you think it's cute when she says it...she's 2.5 it's a dog (this was one of the many arguments I had with him). Secondly don't drop syllables like Tweety "I tought I taw a putty tat" Gag me!! There are certain letters that kids just don't pronounce right until reaching a age to discover it, but that doesn't mean you don't make them try!! "L" is my daughters hardest letter, but we work with her everyday so that she understands the correct way to say things!


9. Parenting starts before the baby is even born. Apparently many people don't understand this little factoid! Parenting begins the moment the second line shows up on that pee stick!!! A few things you might want to get a pen and jot down....
-Drinking while pregnant is a no no. Sure sure a drink here and there wont "hurt" but why don't we just avoid it all together ladies? Is is that hard to take 9mos of your life and put down the bottle. Don't you want to look at that baby in your arms when it is born and marvel at how gorgeous it is, instead of looking at it and saying "well shit, now everyone will know that I drank while you were in my belly"...come on now seriously??
-Smoking while your pregnant is also not good for the baby. I was a smoker for years, in fact after my daughter turned 6mos old I started back smoking - stupid me, yes I know, I learned from my mistake!! However I quit for BOTH pregnancies. Do you know the risks you are putting your child through if you continue to smoke?? Lets talk about that...premature labor and delivery, low birth weight (each which come with their own line of problems), heart murmurs, congenital malformations, childhood cancers...the list goes on and on. Here take a moment to take a break from my page and read the following: http://med.stanford.edu/medicalreview/smrp14-16.pdf Further more, myself being guilty of this also...if you did quit while you were pregnant-props to you....now lets not be dumb enough to go right out and have a cigarette. Come on we just went 9mos without one, the hardest part is the first 3 days!! It's just as harmful to smoke after a child is born. Even if you don't smoke near your child the smoke leaves a residue on your clothes, car, hands, lips that is also cancer causing!!
-Drugs while pregnant.....this seems like a obvious yet some people really just do not have the brain to get it all which is stated in the above link and then some! Birthing a baby that's already addicted to meth/coke/heroin. You deserve to be shot and that baby deserves loving parents!!


Okay this blog is long enough time to move on, I may touch back on this at a later time just look for "Parenting....for dummies 2"