It's so much more than blood...

It never ceases to amaze me how defensive some parents can be. I mean sure I'm defensive if you pick on my daughter, if you have nothing nice to say then dont say it at all..right? However I cant understand people who are defensive in someone loving their child to no end. At what point do you realize that it takes a town to raise a child, not just you. If you were lacking in your parenting...that is your fault. No one elses. If you and your husband/boyfriend split-he meets someone new who treats your child as their own, how is this a problem??? Would you rather they treat your child as an outcast??

You could've given birth, changed diapers, cleaned up puke, toys, etc. But the real question is...were you there when they needed you most. Maybe when they needed you physically, as newborn, toddler...etc. But what about emotionally? Because this is where parenting COUNTS!!! First heartbreak...what did YOU do??? My Parents earned every bit of the title "mother" and "father". When I needed them most, they never failed to be there....that is a true test of a mother or father. Not birth, not carrying them for 9mos. Get your facts straight. Does it matter that they are blood...not at all. That doesn't make a parent a parent and if you think otherwise, I would like you to stand outside a adoption agency and speak your mind. My husband is every bit of a father to my daughter than her own dad. Does this aggrivate Kaelin's blood father? No...why? Because he realizes that the more people who love her, mean the more people to care for her. Extra eyes and hands to raise her, extra kisses goodnight, and hugs in the morning. Added discipline when necessary and another shoulder to cry on when things do not work out in her favor. There is no room for jealousy in a marriage, so why should there be in parenting??

You hold a baby in your belly for 9mos, you donated a sperm or two to create offspring. How did you follow up that action??? Sure many of you reading this are close to my age, we're still raising toddlers, but I sincerely hope this makes you think! Going out drinking, going out partying and leaving your child with your parents, your girlfriend, your grandparents. What is that doing to them? Fine once in a great while-I wont lie some time away is nice...but I would choose that time differently-for instance one on one with my husband movie and dinner...not bar and dancing. I'm not against drinking at all...but I do think if you do this more than once a month your priorties are a little misplaced. Do you want your children to go out drinking and partying? You might say "yes" now, but i really truely hope that you think long and hard how you will react to that years down the road. I know I will be like my parents and not be able to sleep until I know my children are safe. Now think, what would you do if you caught your child doing drugs? What if you just suspected? Have you thought about your son or daughter having sex years from now, what about hitting puberty? How will YOU handle these things. Ignorance is bliss? Denial..."not my child". Bite it in the butt the minute you find out? How about being proactive? Will you talk to your child before all these things happen so they know what to expect. Talk to them so they know how important sex is, how important doing drugs isn't? We're all going to have battles, 90% of our kids are guarenteed to try drugs and have premarital sex (lets face it...we all did)...but how you handle that...THAT is being a "mother"...THAT is being a "father". Not your damn egg, not your damn sperm. YOUR character, YOUR choices will in the be the deciding factor. Where you were during the most important days will forever live in heart. Your parenting will be graded...not by me, not by peers, not by teachers, psychologists or doctors, but instead the most important person of all...your child. If my daughter chooses to call her fathers significant other "mom"...I wont go off the deep end, its a term of endearment, she would also be helping raise Kaelin, her hand is AS important as mine...I'd welcome the help...not shun it.