As all of you know, I adore my sister. But more than once in the past year (try like 5 times) I have heard just how skinny my sister is. "your sister looks tiny", "I cant believe how much weight your sister has lost". All this is fine and dandy but as someone who has been OBSESSED with weight for most of my high school and adult life, the last thing I want to hear is how perfect my sister is. I spent most of my school years trying to be like my sister. She was thin, she was gorgeous, plenty of guys wanted to be with her. I wasn't that way. I spent years of my life ignoring food, or forcing it back out. I remember standing in the mirror and screaming at myself for how ugly I was, pulling out my hair and grabbing my fat. This is shocking to most as I was a "happy" teen, but I really wasn't. I have hated looking into the mirror naked since as long as I could remember. My best friends were perfect, and beautiful and I was the ugly duckling of the group. Confidence wasn't exactly there even though I led people to believe it. My friends and I would go to a club to dance, and they could pick up guys in a second..not me. I stayed in a horrible relationship (not just on me, but him too) for fear that I'd never have anyone else love me.
Now here I am, 10yrs later and all these feelings are coming to a head again. My sisster does look great, and I am SO proud of her. She was my rock when I felt like I had nothing. But here I am crying in front of the mirror everyday, wondering why in the world my husband is with me when he could have any girl in the world. Even if people dont mean it, when you tell me these great things about my sister, you're comparing me to her. Dont tell me, tell her! I've had three kids, I wear a size 7 jean. To most women this is great, to me I want smaller, I want the scale smaller, I want more of the mirror to show when I look into it. I have three kids and a husband that works crazy hours...dont tell me to go workout cuz it isn't possible. We dont have the means to pay a sitter for me to workout. When I start even basic sit ups, it takes four times as long as it should as the kids climb all over me the minute I hit the floor.
I am writing and posting this not for just me. For all the moms out there going through this. Stop telling them how good someone looks, all it accomplishes is bad feelings about themselves. Stop and think about when your kids were young, or if you dont have kids, think about where your time is spent compared to a mother. YOU might have time and money for a gym because you're not spending the money elsewhere-we have mouths that many more mouths to feed, that many more backs to cloth, that much less time in our days that if we have to make the choice we will chose our family over ourselves. I am fortunate enough my husband has given everything for me to be home with our children, and for that I am thankful ALMOST everyday! Do I want time for myself?? Absolutely. But is it logical. No...it just isn't. We cant even find time for a date night, which is much more important than working out. Just think before you speak. We want to be perfect, really we do....but it's a lot harder when you are telling us how perfect everyone else is!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Are you trying to be your sister
Posted by mrs.mreman at 11:09 AM
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