Nicole

I hate that growing up means losing friends. Especially when that friendship was once so dear to you. Many of you know I have been struggling with this for awhile. Not because I have no friends-I have many-tried and true and I love dearly. I finally came to the realization that I cant just forget about this, about her. So what did I do? I wrote her a letter, and pray that I have the right address!!

No I'm not talking about email address, I'm talking handwritten, two page letter. I once read that if you read a letter or a note from someone that is typed, you read it with your voice in your head...as if you read someones actual handwriting you are reading it with their voice. It's more personal. So where am I going with this? What do I hold so dear that I just cant seem to let it all go? Part of it is exactly that--letters. Letters back and forth, her terrible handwriting and how she never failed to spell Really Right. With all this technology these wonderful things are now gone. Kids, and even our age, text one another. You cant judge a person on their brains when everything is auto correct. You dont know wether to take someone serious or happy or angry if they use ALL CAPS. I am really starting to hate all of this. How are my children going to grow up with any means at all when everything is just handed to them on a silver platter? OH you dont know how to spell, that's okay see the little ABC with the check-that will correct it all-you dont need to KNOW how to spell it...just get it 'close enough'. These kids aren't going to have the awesome 'note'books that we all shared...yes a whole notebook for just writing notes! WHY?? Because it's easy to hand a notebook back in the middle of class without suspicion. <<---I am so not using spell check on that to prove a point that yes indeed I am not sure if that is right or not and I'm not gonna lie and make you think I know how to spell everything!

Nicole was my best friend, through thick and thin. We wouldn't talk for weeks and then be best friends again. We did a lot of dumb stuff...A LOT. Where we are now-you would never have known it. It kills me that we are no longer friends but you cant force anyone to want to be your friend, and I have to realize it was probably nothing that I ever did that made it that way. We grew apart. I guess I see so many of my fb friends that still hold a close relationship with their friends from hs. Kaelin's father--he is still super close to his group from high school. The sisterhood--anyone that went to our school knows who they are--still close to this day. My high school best friend I haven't really talked to since my baby shower with Kaelin, and even then we didn't say much. She met Kaelin for the first time when she was 6mos, and hasn't seen her since-except a quick run in at Silver Lake that I was regrettably <--again with spelling) rude but still was holding an unneccessary grudge. Life isn't fair. I have my husband who is now my best friend, I have my sister who undoubtedly is always there. I have Lindsay and Shannon who have come to be Rocks in my life. Friends that come and go that I only see once in awhile but we never miss a beat...but there will always be Nicole..nobody compares, we probably have nothing in common anymore-but none the less a memory of my past, and a friendship that I will always hold close, we tested boundaries, we did stupid things...but our lives turned out to be pretty okay even wiht the dumb mistakes!