Being a mom

By far my best accomplishment is to hold the title of "mother". Even after I get a degree, that will ALWAYS come first. So to this I say those who are not parents like to throw stones at every time we take a moment to think about ourselves.

Point being, the earlier post of our bodies. Self pity is NECESSARY. Every once in awhile its nice to get words out onto paper that otherwise get pushed aside. All I have to feel pity on myself is my weight. Why? Because I fiercly believe everything else I have giong on in my life is essentially perfect. Is there room for improvement, yes...there always will be. However would I be content to live within this current situation the rest of my life, yes I would. I would rather have self pity on the way that I look, than to be content with being overweight.

You might not want to have kids someday, I respect that. Do I think your crazy-of course I do. When all else fails, kids can lift you up. When a loss of a family memeber brings you to unconsolable crying, a child coming to sit on your lap and hug you immediately puts things into perspective. At that do I feel the need to tell you all of this when you are faced with a issues. No. Simply because I know in places that I am insecure, you are not. I chose to be a young mother, at the same time it also chose me. I was fortunate enough to find the man I could accomplish this with. My husband does nto see what I see when I look into the mirror. My husband tells me I am beautiful every single day. I want to be perfect, I want to look like a model, but if I had the choice to workout 4hrs a day to accomplish that or to spend that 4 hours with my family. I will chose my family. When I have the choice to spend $ on workout equiptment or for something special for my family..I WILL choose my family. You dont have those options.

Next in line are those that when I say "We just dont have time to go out" and their response is "well that's the life of a mother". I am NOT saying I want to go out drinking til all hours of the night. I am NOT saying I want to party myself into stupidity. I am merely stating the fact that my most important thing is my marriage and we dont have the time to commit to "us" as we would like. Date nights are necessary and I believe that to be true. However I am just getting to the point of being okay leaving my children with someone else for hours. I hate not being the one to put them to bed. I miss our "us" time, but it is essential. They need to learn as much as I need to that we are not the only ones they can depend on. When I see people post that they want to get out of the house, I can sympathize. I get it, I totally do. If you took the time to get to know them you would understand too. We dont want to work out of the house right now, we like that our children aren't being raised elsewhere, by someone else. We like that we have control over what they are doing and who they are doing it with, before we know it those will be out of our control. Lets not be nieve. When you were a teen did your parents know exactly what you were doing at every minute of every day? GOD NO! So do you think you'll really have much control when your kids reach that age? Be realistic.

Finally, to those who dont control their kids now at this young age. Seriously?? what did you smoke to lose the brain cells for common parenting? We went to lunch with our friends the other day and it was fantastic! All FIVE kids were well behaved, listened and patient while they waited for their food. I've been in resturants that kids are running around mindlessly. Screaming at the top of their lungs, turned around bugging the person in the booth behind them and the parents do NOTHING. My Father in law was faced with a little girl with a mental condition who had come up to him hugging and kissing him on the lips. Obviously uncomfortable as he did not know this girl, he was trying to be nice but also trying to get her off of him. The mother just stood there!!! I get that mental handicapps bring on a whole other point of parenting, but this is too far. You are putting someone who would generally not be uncomfortable around that person, in a very uncomfortable situation. Or parents where there kids can do no wrong. Another child takes a toy out of your childs hands, you yell at the child, but when your child does it, you look the other way. I'm sorry but yet again, I am not the perfect parent...however I will make my child responsible for what he or she has done. I might allow things that you would never dream to let your children do, you might think I'm a horrible person because I do not take my children to church, or dont speak of "god" in our home. But if your children are generally well behaved - I as much as the next person understand that kids have bad days. That the smallest thing can put them over the edge. I understand that you chose your battles. Good parents know what makes a difference and stick to that, Great parents understand what makes a difference but leave room for improvement, options and mistakes. I can honestly say I surround myself with great parents, my husband surrounds himself with great parents, that together our friends that we have compiled have these same "great parent" qualities. Yes I am a great parent, yes my husband is a great parent. We make mistakes- we yell when we shouldn't have, we've given chocolate for breakfast and our kids are well aquainted with candy. If I thought myself to be perfect I would be raising a child to be just like me, I dont want that. Not because I think they could do better, but because I want them to be them, I want them to be their OWN individual.