Why would someone make that choice???

Recently it has been brought to my attention just how small minded some people still are in this day in age. I felt proud to be of this generation because I felt we had all come a very long way from discrimination and that once we got the "geezers" out of congress and such our generation would surely bring pride and prosper our country once again. But with a simple post on FB I was brought to reality. Following this is the post:

Please put this on your status if you know or love someone who is gay.
My wish for 2010 is that people will understand that being gay is not a
disease nor a choice - people who are gay are not looking for a cure but
ACCEPTANCE and EQUAL RIGHTS!! 93% won't copy and paste this. Will you
.........make it your status for at...... least one hour...? .... Promote LOVE
& Acceptance

Following this post I watched individuals feel the need to comment about how being Gay was a choice. Of course this enraged me, I was disgusted that people still to this day feel that way. Even better it's not like they were in their 40's+, they were of OUR generation. Yes and opinion is an opinion, but what I don't understand is why would someone even think this is a choice?? Further more I do understand that for some people it is, people reaching for attention, porn stars who switch between the two-etc. However to people who are born to love someone of the same sex comments like these are extremely hurtful. I didn't decide to be straight and for the life of me i cannot see how someone or why someone would choose to be discriminated againt. They cannot marry the ones they love, they are called a million and a half slurs, they get stared at when they're in public and unfortunately hate crimes are up not down. So many feel like such outcasts and have been so discriminated againt that the only way they feel to get away is suicide. I once heard someone call suicide "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" and I agree, and I hope that these problems are temporary because love is love regardless of where it comes from.

You see protesters outside court buildings fighting against the right for gay marriage. At one point those protesters were out there fighting against African American rights...and look where we stand today. Once they were out there standing and fighting for womens rights-and eventually succeeded. I can only pray that someday we will have a president come and give all the rights to gays. How would you feel if the person you loved is laying there dying and you cannot do a thing because you aren't technically family. You cant make any choices in their health; even though you know what would be in the best interest of your lover; because you are not married although you've been together longer than 50% of both gender marriages considering we know that in our country the divorce rate is at an all time high. You see people holding signs saying "Gays belong in Hell"..."Gay is an ultimate sin" what makes you yhink that living in this society isn't alreay hell for them? What do you think would go SO wrong if they were granted rights to marry? Seriously? Okay onto the next...I dont care if your divorce is anulled or whatever the church does to forgive it, it's still a divorce and in the eye of "God" or the "Bible" or hell even most marriage VOWS you are promising til death. Yet our divorce rate in this country is ridiculous because people would rather give up than fight. Gay couples-they're fighting an ongoing battle, and it isn't against each other. They're being picked apart by a society that thinks they know whats best but in turn has blood on their hands. When you hear of another child being bullied because of his/her sexual preference, or you hear on the news that another person has committed suicide because of relentless, uninformed banter over who they love, or want to love...I hope you know that soap and water will NOT remove that blood from your hands. I hope you realize that when you fall in love you're not looking at skin color anymore, hell how many cougars and sugar daddys aren't looking at age anymore as a barrier...so why are we looking at sex??? AGAIN LOVE IS LOVE REGARDLESS OF WHERE OR WHEN OR WHO!!!

They're full of milk-keep staring I will squirt

So here's the thing...breast feeding. Nursing. Whatever you want to call it, one should be proud saying those words. So why is it that when you go out in public and your baby cries people complain? To calm the baby you do the obvious...feed the child...and people complain. REALLY. If you are so offended by what the mother is doing than look the other way. When you're driving do you stop and gawk and a calf eating from it's mothers teet?

Most women cover themselves and make it a descreet feeding, some choose not to. Either way it's not like you haven't seen a boob before. If you are a woman staring in disgust...SHAME ON YOU!! Go stick your head in the sand and don't bother coming out because quite honestly you should not even be called a woman. God gave women boobs to FEED OUR YOUNG!!! Suprising right? I'm sure his real reason was to have them so your husband, boyfriend, partner can feel them up and so that places like Victorias Secret and Fredricks can make pretty little holders for them that make them more appealing than what they are truely used for. I'm as much of a woman as the next, I like to have pretty bras, I like when my husband notices how nice they look and darn it...I want them looking nice myself. But when it comes down to it I am most proud to use them for what they were intended! I am the sole food supply for my children for the first few months of their lives. I love when I can look at them putting on weight as they should and know that I have been the reason that they have thrived. How can your boobs be better than mine because they haven't seen the light of day or fed an infant? You have a problem that I'm doing it in public, you would rather me head to the filthy bathroom in shame to feed my child on the germ ridden toilet fecal matter every plce you touch? How about YOU take YOUR food to the toilet and eat it. Would you look at me in disgust if I let my child play in the garbage cuz that's basically what you are telling all these women to do when you are casting your opinions through your eyes.

I am certianly not saying that if you had children and chose not to breast feed that you were in any way wrong. Some people cannot nurse, some aren't comfortable in doing so, even cases that the baby physically can't nurse...in any instance formula has not killed a baby yet-both my children have had formula. I'm just saying if you did not nurse, haven't had kids yet, whatever the reasoning dont stare in disgust-or men in amazement-we are just doing what god intended them to be used for.

Before you cast those demeaning eyes toward another nursing mom think first of what exactly we are doing, there is nothing sexual about nursing...there is nothing but pure beauty in what that woman is doing. Instead of staring, look the other way and marvel at what a healthy baby it will grow up to be breast or bottle!

Family...

I always touch on our kids, or our friends, I even talk about our families. But I have never talked about just how important each and every person in your life is. People seem to forget that their family is their and should be their support system. Now yes at 15 or so everyone hates their mother, their father, their siblings-that is if their parents are doing a good job. The friends that I had that enjoyed their parents at that age I can look back to now and they have no relationship with them anymore. Why??? Because at 15 they were smoking pot with their parents, they were drinking without consequences. Where are they now? I can tell you of a couple I am sure of- in jail, strung out on drugs, not contact with their parents.

That's great, just where I wish I was!!! Where am I going with this? Well as much as I love Facebook I also tend to see people bad mouthing their family quite often. It could be talking about a spouse, or a parent, or a sibling. Expected at 13-17, but when you're the ages of 18+, no excuse. So what if your parents are to blame or your sister is talking behind your back....I can promise you aren't quite so innocent yourself. None of this is needed to blab about on FB!! You want a pity party...you want to feel special or wanted, you want people to notice you and try and make you feel better. When in reality 90% who have read your post think to themselves "Wow she's dumb". Seriously your familyl talking behind your back-YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE. and you know what I am sure that you have had some not so nice things to say about your family also!! You vented on FB about what a b**** she was and turned out looking like the bigger one in the scenario cuz at least she didn't post what she said about you! Let me tell you a secret that has been drilled in my head since I was a child-family is all you got hunny! When your parents are gone, who will understand most how you're feeling, not your friends-but your siblings! Who remembers how scared of the dark you are, or your favorite colors growing up. Who can pick on you relentlessly on how much of a mess you used to make or the stupid mistakes you made, or the retarded boyfriends that you held so high? Your sibling...your sister, your brother, your mother, your father. How do you think your parents feel being stuck in the middle of such a High School drama with their adult children. It'd make me sick-you should be ashamed of yourself!!! Everyone deals with family problems-everyone has something about them that drives others nuts, you vent to your husband, boyfriend, wife, girlfriend....not on FB. So my sister is driving me insane-would I tell her? Maybe, or maybe just chalk it up to needing to vent, or wait til it blows over.
My sisters downfall??? She worrys too much---has since we were children. Does this drive me nuts? At times-but she's my sister. My sister can be a B****..but she's my sister and if I ever had to chose between a friend who was sweet as pie or my sister on a bad day-I WILL ALWAYS choose my sister. None of my friends will understand me like she does. When our mother is driving us nuts...we have each other to go to, when one of us is driving our mother nuts, she can go to the other and vent about it and we can go to each other and explain that they need to give mom a break or just let it slide cuz it's been a stressful week. No one knows me like my mom and my sister. I was 100% a daddy's girl but he's my dad, he's oblivious to women feelings. His best line when we went through a break up was "I'm the only man that will love you your whole life" it never failed to make me smile-but my mom and my sister were the ones to hug and just let you cry cuz they knew and still know no words are going to make you feel better, only a good cry (or a million) will help you through it. We have mommy problems, or marital problems, or pregnancy problems....we don't push each other to talk, we know when they're ready they will talk. When you vent remember who you are venting to, and take into account the day that you've had up until that point. Things you hear on a bad day are liable to bug you more than if you were having a good day. I know there are things about me that drive my family nuts-I'm the black sheep-I'm good with that. But you will never know the power of your relationship until you let things go and embrace them for their faults, not hate them for it. Understand that all women need to vent, we're caddy-that's how God made us against his better judgement...we dont always mean what we say! Remember all you have is family, your parents, your siblings, your husband, your children...they are what matter, not what other people think of them, but how much they've done for you, and how much they'd still do for you if you just dropped the HS attitudes and accepted each other for who you are...

Get a grip...

I'm so sick of people that complain and complain about their life but do NOTHING to fix the problem. It's your life...you are in charge. At what point do you not understand that. There was no promise when you were born saying "you are born into a life of ease, expect no troubles, no rollercoasters, and absolutely no pain on your ride from birth to death"

Life is about living and learning. You cannot learn if you do not make mistakes, you cannot make mistakes if you dont try something out of your comfort level. What does it take to step outside of the box? CONFIDENCE...not in the people around you, but in yourself. You and you alone are in charge of your happiness. Just like you are in charge of your health, and your appearence. If you don't feel good..you're not happy, if you feel like a "frump" you're not happy-those are simple equations. Yes it does get a bit more complicated when you add more people into the mix. First off you had your parents and all through school you could've sworn they wanted you to be anything but happy...just to grow up and realize that you being happy in the end-was indeed their main agenda. Now you're grown up...mom and dad cant take care of you anymore (or atleast shouldn't) from this point on you are now responisble for your actions. Dont blame everyone else, you make your bed...now you sleep in it.

You fall in love-and more than likely, you do it more than once. ideally you learned after the first one (or couple) fail what you prefer, expect, and appreciate out of that significant other. Then you find him/her. You knwo immediately this is the person I am spending the rest of my life with. Do you think this is going to be an easy task. Yet again when you sign those marriage papers there is no disclaimer that says "Congrats you're married, this road to happiness is free of money problems, marital problems, concieving problems, in-law problems, parental problems, and finally parenting problem...just sit back relax and enjoy the ride" If your marriage certificate said this...than you are imagining it. If you by chance go through ANY of these...***SURPRISE*** you're not the ONLY one in the world dealing with it. At somepoint you need to realize your life isn't as bad as it COULD be!!! Are you alone? Do you have someone to go talk to when things are hard? Someone you can count on? Someone you trust? Is this the person that you married? If you said "no" to any of these...I'm sorry to tell you, you have made the wrong choice in your spouse. Yep I said it...I am that BOLD!!! But obviously with all the complaining that is going on no one else is telling you- therefore I will.

Now god forbid you didn't realize ANY of this before you conciously procreating, and now you have a little combination of the two of you running around. You love your child, but you're not happy. But lets do the "smart" thing and stay in an unhappy environment for my CHILD so that he can grow up to be just as unhappy as I am!! CUZ THATS YOUR SMARTEST IDEA YET!!! Along with the baby another disclaimer was shoved in the butt saying "This child will be free of any malfunctions. This baby will not cry all night, it will never be sick, it will sleep all night. In addition as it grows it will always listen to what it is told, never do drugs or alcohol and will be the answers to all of the problems you've had up until now. This baby is exactly what you hoped for in fixing you marital problem...good for you!!" Of course all of this disclaimer came true. I dont know I guess maybe in a way it did considering denial is the only constant in your life. Your baby is sick often, but instead of demanding answers you just keep putting them on more medicine and antibiotics to slowly kill an infection. But because of your denial 5-10 years from now your child will no longer respond to antibiotics. Maybe then your smart decisions will click!! For the life of me I am unsure as to why at least one parent isn't smart enough or doesn't care enough to demand answers so your child is no longer going through pain on a regular basis. But then again hygiene is a key role into keeping healthy-and I'm not sure that you took that class while in school.

with all the disclaimers you have a perfect life, and you have no need to complain as everything is great...you grew up healthy no problems, married the perfect perosn, and had a dream child, just like it promised right?

Finally if you keep staying in denial and just complaining I will tell you how your future will pan out. You will stay married, although unhappy. The two of you will not even act like a married couple. Seperate cars, seperate vacations, sometimes not even knowing where the other one is..but not worry about it. You are miserable and feel the need to tear other people down to make yourself feel better about your situation. Your sex life (if you have one) will only be once or twice a year unless you have found someone outside the marriage for that. Your child, although might have had many previous relationships, never settles down in the fear that every marriage is like yours and doesn't want to be unhappy forever, instead they would rather be alone...wow congrats you have indeed perfected "life"...you should probably write a book!!

It's so much more than blood...

It never ceases to amaze me how defensive some parents can be. I mean sure I'm defensive if you pick on my daughter, if you have nothing nice to say then dont say it at all..right? However I cant understand people who are defensive in someone loving their child to no end. At what point do you realize that it takes a town to raise a child, not just you. If you were lacking in your parenting...that is your fault. No one elses. If you and your husband/boyfriend split-he meets someone new who treats your child as their own, how is this a problem??? Would you rather they treat your child as an outcast??

You could've given birth, changed diapers, cleaned up puke, toys, etc. But the real question is...were you there when they needed you most. Maybe when they needed you physically, as newborn, toddler...etc. But what about emotionally? Because this is where parenting COUNTS!!! First heartbreak...what did YOU do??? My Parents earned every bit of the title "mother" and "father". When I needed them most, they never failed to be there....that is a true test of a mother or father. Not birth, not carrying them for 9mos. Get your facts straight. Does it matter that they are blood...not at all. That doesn't make a parent a parent and if you think otherwise, I would like you to stand outside a adoption agency and speak your mind. My husband is every bit of a father to my daughter than her own dad. Does this aggrivate Kaelin's blood father? No...why? Because he realizes that the more people who love her, mean the more people to care for her. Extra eyes and hands to raise her, extra kisses goodnight, and hugs in the morning. Added discipline when necessary and another shoulder to cry on when things do not work out in her favor. There is no room for jealousy in a marriage, so why should there be in parenting??

You hold a baby in your belly for 9mos, you donated a sperm or two to create offspring. How did you follow up that action??? Sure many of you reading this are close to my age, we're still raising toddlers, but I sincerely hope this makes you think! Going out drinking, going out partying and leaving your child with your parents, your girlfriend, your grandparents. What is that doing to them? Fine once in a great while-I wont lie some time away is nice...but I would choose that time differently-for instance one on one with my husband movie and dinner...not bar and dancing. I'm not against drinking at all...but I do think if you do this more than once a month your priorties are a little misplaced. Do you want your children to go out drinking and partying? You might say "yes" now, but i really truely hope that you think long and hard how you will react to that years down the road. I know I will be like my parents and not be able to sleep until I know my children are safe. Now think, what would you do if you caught your child doing drugs? What if you just suspected? Have you thought about your son or daughter having sex years from now, what about hitting puberty? How will YOU handle these things. Ignorance is bliss? Denial..."not my child". Bite it in the butt the minute you find out? How about being proactive? Will you talk to your child before all these things happen so they know what to expect. Talk to them so they know how important sex is, how important doing drugs isn't? We're all going to have battles, 90% of our kids are guarenteed to try drugs and have premarital sex (lets face it...we all did)...but how you handle that...THAT is being a "mother"...THAT is being a "father". Not your damn egg, not your damn sperm. YOUR character, YOUR choices will in the be the deciding factor. Where you were during the most important days will forever live in heart. Your parenting will be graded...not by me, not by peers, not by teachers, psychologists or doctors, but instead the most important person of all...your child. If my daughter chooses to call her fathers significant other "mom"...I wont go off the deep end, its a term of endearment, she would also be helping raise Kaelin, her hand is AS important as mine...I'd welcome the help...not shun it.

Life Lessons? or something more?

In less than a month I will be turning 25. To some of you this might not seem like a big deal, but to me it has certainly got me thinking. I'm very happy of where my life is now, but I can't help but notice some things that I thought would be there, that arent. One obvious in my grandfather, I guess no matter how many years it has been he is the first that brings tears to my eyes when I think about all that I wasn't able to share with him. Next would be my Uncle Tim, I am thankful that he was able to meet my children but still cannot understand why he was taken so early and so unexpectedly. Now those are givens. We all miss those who cannot be here anymore. But what about others? Friends that you thought nothing could ever come between you and them...just to find now that there is nothing at all in common, or maybe some more things that attributed to the fallout.

My family members and most people I went to school with can guess who I am talking about. Pretty much all through High School we were inseperable. Even when we went onto college with different majors we still stayed relatively close. We went out a lot together and most people probably could hear us coming from a mile away. She was the first to say to me "You're Pregnant" I laughed and told her she was soo wrong, 4 days later she was the first person I called when that + appeared. Her reaction? "it's okay, we'll get through this...this is a beautiful thing not sad" I'll never forget that conversation. She went to my first Ultrasound with me, this seemed to make our friendship stronger...or so I thought. Soon after I stopped hearing from her. She's met my daughter twice in the almost 4 years she's been here.

At first this whole thing really bothered me. I was hurt. Actually this was how a lot of my friendships went down after my blessing happened. I lost contact with most everyone. The only person I had left from my "previous" life was Laney...who to this day remains my truest and closest friend. However now looking back I find that many people that I once had a "connection" with, seem so obsolete in the whole picture. I always wanted children young, although I didnt make the choice as to what age (or if you want to get technical yes I was having sex so I should know its a probable outcome) However I am happy that parenthood chose me before I chose career. I know that this is a horrible thing to say but my feelings are just those. I will be able to enjoy my children so much more as adults than I would've if I waited another 10years to have them. However this does come at a cost. There are very few that are my age that carry the same weight of having a family on their shoulders. In fact many are just starting to get married, no pregnant with number 3...family almost finished. Thus having a common factor to talk about with old friends is few and far between. They prefer to talk about the wild time they had over the weekend, or the latest concert they attended. I on the other hand am talking about Potty training, constipation, hitting, biting, teething, preschool...the list goes on.

Then you have the other group, the people that are your age, that are in your same boat...but you HARDLY have time to discuss your daily lives with them because you have a toddler hanging on your leg and a infant screaming at the top of their lungs cuz they want SOMETHING and you have NO IDEA what that something is.

I'm sure you all are wondering what this has to do with life lessons. Have you ever sat and thought about it? Thought about your past into detail. What was the most important thing that you and a friend of the past had in common? Drinking? Smoking? Boys? Most likely you didn't share the same ideals about the future. She's a physical Therapist somewhere in Rochester, she was married not long after myself, but has no children. I ran into her while out to dinner and the sound of her voice made me cringe as she called my name. This is when I realized I'm glad she's not a "key" figure in my childrens upbringing. She made worse choices than I did in our High School Years. She has book smarts...but not street. She cares entirely too much about how she "appears" to the outer world and not so much about how her actions speak volumes to her credibility. I will not turn down explaining the story about what happened to our friendship if asked. Life lesson..absolutely, she was the first to teach me that the only people I can really depend on is my family. Something more- Ofcourse; because I can't help but think that this is the way god intended for it to be- a reminder of I may not have my career, but I have my family...I may not have many "close" friends, but that is because they also bear the names of "mother" "sister" and "husband" all of which are much more dear titles than Best Friend.

Thank you for not talking....

So recently I had read a friend was going through a rough time with their child not sleeping. She had said that he recently started crawling a couple days before. I probably read the info four or five times before I finally decided to give her "my experience". I tried my best to make it "my experience" and not "my advice" Why you ask. Because sometimes I HATE ADVICE!!!!

I know mean right? Okay lets clearify...Advice from your mother = wisdom (even though sometimes you might not want to admit it). Advice from your Mother-in-law = husband wisdom *sometimes this explains soo much about the man you married*. Grandmother Advice = 1. Old Wives Tales and things you probably shouldn't follow (ie: Whiskey on Gums) or 2. Complete nonsense.

Okay so WHO am I talking about. Lets start with your friends that don't have kids. HA...we all know these. Needless to say some can even say that it's also family members. These are the ones who know EXACTLY how to raise a child. "Absolutely MY child will never watch TV"..."You should be reading and pointing out the words so they will learn quicker" my FAVORITE..."why don't you put the diaper on closer and closer to the potty, ya know like they do in potty training dogs. She'll get it" REALLY...I would love to see YOU parent!! Or there are those people who already have kids who apparently think that you forgot how to handle kids. Or idk maybe forgot you have kids. These are often the people that I kind of dish it right back...I know you are saying "well look at your blog...arent you preaching to IDK yourself" here i will say no. This is because go back and read my disclaimer. These are opinions I am not telling you to read it, nor am I telling you to come to me for advice. If you use my ideas or agree..I'm am not responsible for your child in 20 years :o)!!!

Okay so now we know who I am talking about. Would you like to hear how we need to handle these people? Well why are you looking at me?? I wish I had the answer...some how some way. I am a nice person and I just smile and nod-but don't listen. But then there comes a day that you step too far. This is when I become rude. Usually that line is my daughter. For some reason when I became pregnant with my son...people forgot that I had been pregnant before. Why do I say this? Because I got "just wait til this happens" "you wont believe it when"..etc. SERIOUSLY Kaelin was two when I was pregnant with Gage. I'm pretty sure my parenting and pregnancy ideas are not only fresh but more experienced than you...considering you were pregnant for 9 mos and I was now going into my 12th month of experiencing pregnancy (9 mos Kaelin; 3mos Gage) I have you beat. My daughter is my line...and I might always be super protective of her because I never ever want her to feel like she doesn't count just because she wasn't hatched under a piece of paper. Now if I ask for your advice...have at it. Tell me I'm a horrible mom, tell me whatever you want-but since I asked for it-I deserved it. Does it mean I'll listen? Chances are 50/50...sorry being honest.

Now this pregnancy. It has just been over a year since I've had my son. All these people telling me things to get over being sick. Honestly-don't you think I've tried it. I was sick with both kids...this third one is a doozy. It's not like this was ANYTHING liek the two prior. I could handle that, throwing up twice three times a day. Not a problem. Puking at my most 12x's in one day, not even keeping water down. yeah. Complaining isn't my most favorite thing, but trust me when I say I could've curled into a corner and not come out for 6 weeks with as horrible as I felt. I cried atleast once a day. I'm so thankful that I'm feeling better!!!

If you ask advice I will give it, although you might now always like what i have to say. Dont complain to me about money and then ask for my advice. We're tight on money, but we're smart too. We don't "go out" we dont have "date night". The IMPORTANT things ALWAYS get paid ... these are Mortgage, car payment, car insurance, Medical bills and any credit cards (which there aren't many cuz I hate them). If we have left over money...great. If we don't- well we make due with what we have Do I feel like my kids are missing out. No, why? Because I am home with them, this is our sacrifice. Now if you chose to not pay your mortgage but go out drinking three times a month, out to eat every weekend and needlessly spend on things you don't NEED you just wanted. Well I have no pity for you and you deserve to be in foreclosure!! Obviously when you tell my husband and I that we need to get out more...we will laugh behind your back at your "advice".

Last but not least...marriage advice. This is almost as good as parenting advice. Really, you've been divorced once, twice, three times and you've swore men off and you're telling me I just need to learn that men aren't as great as they seem. FANTASTIC. Maybe if you weren't a bit psycho men wouldn't keep leaving you. All you do is bash your husband? Okay, I pick on my husband-he picks on me. We both laugh...you have nothing nice to say about each other-let alone to each other. But you want to give me an attitude when I am picking on my husband for being anal and tell me that I need to give him a break. This is coming from the person who also LOVES giving parenting advice but fails to notice how poorly she raised her own child. Next don't tell me I need a "girls only" night or my husband needs a "guys only" night. This is something we both agree on. We dont like going out without one another. All we do is miss each other and wish they could be there. We spend the whole night texting each other...and we're soo happy to be back together by the end of the night that it's just a reminder as to why we don't do it. We've been together 3 years and have gone out alone maybe 3 times if that. I enjoy every moment I spend with my husband-he might get on my nerves, I might get on his. We are never too good to appologize to one another, we will always say I love you before falling asleep. In the morning his kiss still wakes me up, at night I cant fall asleep without feeling his lips once again. His smile can still make me weak in the knees and his touch will make me melt. To watch him with our children shows me I've made the right choice, no matter how much he gets them riled up. I don't need your advice...I have parents who have been married close to 30years...they are my inspiration. They have been married close to 30 years and are still happy, they dont use names when they fight, they agreed on our upbringing. They did marriage right...you hardly talk to your husband, your child has more control over you than the government. YOU i will NEVER ask advice from, so please don't feel the need to offer it for free

Our job

As mothers our jobs typically go unnoticed and unappreciated. For the time we put forth to raise our children-our downfalls are noticed before our accomplishments. If you have not realized this I will bring you into the light.

Go through your pictures, all your pictures of your kids. How many are you included in? Out of the ones that you are in, how many of those did you take yourself or pay someone else to take? I can pretty much guarentee you that the pictures you are now holding in your hand wont even fill one of the "walmart" flip books. It sucks, for all the work that we have done, including making them look cute for pictures, we're somehow forgotten in the picture taking process-either because we're behind the camera or we're busy trying to get other stuff done. It seems like every birthday for my children this comes into play. Although I'm right there helping open presents, washing the kids up, trying to get around talking to everyone...somehow I'm always cut out of the pictures. For my daughters 3rd bday there was two pictures of me. For my sons first I only have pictures with the cake cuz I made sure to. Some of this is my fault as my camera was full, and instead of taking pictures my sister was having to erase. Unfortunately it was also my fathers bday party and do you think we got one picture of the two of them? Or Even my mother. This is just another reason why mothers should have four sets of hands.

Next who does the potty training? I mean yes fathers are important, and my husband is working two jobs to try and get things paid off quicker. He's an amazing father and an amazing husband, but it will never cross his mind to take a picture of the kids and I sleeping because it is so cute. Over halloween I asked him to take a picture of us carving...he did...but cut me out.

As mothers we get the brunt of the attitudes, the brunt of the meltdowns. As fathers they think it is hilarious to pick on the kids and then wonder why the kids are mad. This is a trait universal with men. The minute they walk in the door it's like a switch is turned on, they decide to tickle them til they scream, or take their food out of their hands and threaten to eat it, or pin them on the floor. All of which end in one thing...the kids screaming or throwing a fit. Then our men wonder why we get mad, cuz it isn't like we havent heard enough screaming or tantrums that day. Even better when the table is turned and out of no where your children hit them, or take their food, they then want to yell at them. I DONT THINK SO. You taught that behavior!! ugh...men-they will never understand this! I promise this is universal bc after talking to many other woman--my mother included--every father does this!

Finally we kiss the boo boo's, we dry the tears, we wipe the butts, we clip the fingernails, we clip the toenails and we give the baths the majority of the time. But if your children had the chance to choose between you and daddy-they seem to always choose daddy. Unfortunately as much as you try to tell yourself that it's natural-it still hurts. But the one thing I do have to say is this. Someday they will appreciate all of this. Allbeit it probably wont be until they have kids...but someday they will. When they are grown you will know you did your job right. Sure all of this right now is a labor of love, all of this right now can wear on your last nerve. But even though they can't say thank you for all the work you do, sweet kisses, and tight hugs sometimes is the only reward we need. Your little girl will turn into your best friend and your little boy will be your biggest fan. I guess this is what we need to remember as your going through pictures, as you are dealing iwth a screaming baby, while your toddler melts down in the middle of the supermarket!!

Lets talk weight...and laziness

So as most everyone knows my daughter started soccer. She HATES it...although her father is in denial and refuses to think his daughter could possibly not like his favorite sport. I fight with her every Tues and Thurs for her to go, while there she plays 10min and then wants NOTHING to do with it. Now I'm all for getting your kids in sports and giving them a way to get out some energy-but at what point do you decide it's not working out and pull them out. I think when the coach is saying "you'd rather just sit on the sidelines" to your daughter, it's time to make a decision. She didn't want in it, she was just signed up into it, so I dont feel like we're teaching her to not finish what she started when she really has no clue as to what she was getting into. Daddy just took her. Now what does this have to do with weight?? Well let me explain. To get her to "play" her father tells her they will get ice cream after. I'm dead against this. One thing that a lot of psychologists say to avoid is rewarding children with food. Why?? It makes complete sense. How many of us have overweight family??? How many of us have watched our family members stuff themselves FULL during holidays or out of sadness. I can promise all of us. This is because they have all learned to lean on food as a "side" if you will to their emotions. Thus making this huge circle with food as the constant. If you give your child "food" as a "good job" or "it's okay" they will associate food with those feelings. NOT GOOD. As someone who HAS struggled with my weight in the past, I can promise you that you never want your child to look in the mirror and no matter how skinny they are, they always will feel fat bc they have gotten so self concious. On the other side, you dont want your child to look in the mirror and see boobs...at 9.

So where did I get so disgusted that I felt the need to post? At soccer on Tues the kids played the "blue" team. on the blue team was a little boy (they are 3 and 4 yr olds) His thighs would rub together and he'd just sit after a couple mins. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. The whole family was large, but this poor little boy was on the road to gross obesiety. They had a cooler sitting next to them and instead of giving their son water to quench his thirst during soccer they gave him Mt. Dew. Disgusting-this is another reason I think parents should be screened. Don't get me wrong my daughter drinks pop, juice boxes etc. But serioulsy playing outdoors in scortching heat, heck when it's just hot out our family more than triples our water intake. If the kid doesn't like water, try flavoring it with lemon or something, or BUY the flavored water. Dont keep it in the "water bottle" buy them a cool drink bottle they would like to drink out of. Anything to try and talk them into drinking more water. Also Tues was Gage's 1st bday which also coincided with Kaelin's Soccer so after we went for ice cream. For the hour that we were there I promise you probably 40-50ppl were in and out. Out of all those people that came and went probably 10 were not overweight, and that included us!!!!! I'm sorry I know that weight is a struggle...but the last thing some of these people need is ICE CREAM!! One girl in particular stood out. She was probably 8 or 9 and was in a size Woman's 12. She had "fat" boobs, not boobs from maturity but boobs from being overweight. She could barely sit without rolling over. Unfortunately this is NOT the little girls fault. I know some people just run big but this family wasn't one of them. Imagine being 8yrs old and not even being able to walk down the stairs without running out of breath. SERIOUSLY AND AS PARENTS YOU THINK THIS IS NORMAL??? I'm sorry but if I saw that happening to my child grilled chicken and veggies it is for dinner.

I'm sorry I may be ANAL about my weight. You may think that I care too much what I look like. But let me explain something. One of my mothers friends was married, she went in for a check up with her doctor a year later. The dr came in a yelled at her cuz she had gained 5lbs. She said to him "what's the big deal...it's only 5lbs"..in turn do you know what he told her "5lbs a year for 20 years is 100lbs"...low an behold 20yrs later she is 100lbs heavier and is kicking herself in the butt for not taking care of it when it would'be been easier. It's easier to lose 5lbs than to lose 100. Think about it.

So many parents think TV is a good alternative for kids. TV and video games..they don't put a limit to them becuase they are "educational" Hell I'm guilty of depending on the tv a little too much since the beginning of this pregnancy..but soon we'll get back to our more challenging outdoor activities and actually have some really cool things planned!! Even schools are getting into the act and not teaching children cursive and half the time don't even make them handwrite anything because of computers. I am a calculator dependent math wiz. Why?? Becuase instead of making us use our brains they handed us calculators in 4th grade. Now kids aren't going to know how to spell because they are introduced to "spell check" in third grade!!! L.A.Z.Y. Teachers don't want to spend the extra effort to "read" the kids handwritting. Instead they can make them type making their jobs easier...for themselves. In turn teaching the kids the easy way is the best!! Part of me would love to home school my children because the ideals just aren't their anymore!!! So why would kids think that going outside to run around an play would be a good idea when it's easier to just sit inside?? I do not understand the mentality of some parents now a days!! TV is not the answer to everything. I'm sorry I would prefer my children to master their english before they learn spanish. I would like to know why all these people are blaming fast food joints and large preportions for the obesiety. We all know what is healthy and what is not...but it's up to us to live by it. We all know that walking is better than sitting, running is better than walking. They're obese...not dumb. A lot of these adults who are obese grew up with "eat everything on you're plate, they're are ppl starving in indonesia" Not allowing them to know their body and know when they are full...instead making them stuff themselves stretching their stomach causing a vicious cycle. As parents it is up to us to monitor what our children eat, do and say. Yes that is a lot on our plates, after all we are raising the future.

Mr. President...I apologize!!!

As a disclaimer yet again these are my feelings toward things and this time I'm going "politcal" so I know for a fact a lot of people will not agree with me but I'm gonna say this to get it off my chest cuz I'm super annoyed with a couple of things that went down this past week while the president stopped for a visit in good ole Buffalo.

First and foremost the DAMN billboard that the "unemployed" group felt the need to spend our tax money to put up. YOU ARE ON UNEMPLOYMENT....WE ARE PAYING FOR YOU TO BE ON UNEMPLOYMENT!!! I do not appreciate you spending our money to put up a billboard that the president would barely notice. If he did notice do you REALLY think it hurt his feelings?? Do you think that he doesn't realize the country is in the toilet? During campaigning he said "I will not be able to fix these problems in a year, I might not even be able to do it in a term, but I will do my best to help our country" Now I ask you...if you are SOOO in debt there is nothing that can get you out of it-things have to get worse before they get better: aka: file for bankruptcy. This is basically where our country is...is this Obamas fault??? I seriously doubt it...can we go back to Bush for a second? When he waged a war toward someone that didn't even cause the heartbreak of our country...Millions and millions of dollars spent on finding Weapons of Mass Destrucion that didn't even exist. Have we even found the person RESPONSIBLE for Sept. 11th. No. But no millions and billions of dollars spent years ago doesn't effect the future does it?? Now honestly do you think it is the PRESIDENT in charge of our country???? I'm sorry he is doing his best to make it BACK to being in the presidents power, but for many years now it's been in the hands of the oil companies and the banks and the billion dollar executives of our country...not the president.

You want the president to end the war, now think logical. If a bunch of people came storming into your home telling you how to live, killing your people cuz you fought back for your home. Dont tell me you wouldnt be annoyed that someone was telling you the way you're living is WRONG and that you live by their rules or dont live. That's basically what Bush did...now do I support the troops absolutely, do I think that telling a country that the way they live isn't right and they need to be westernized is right. Absolutely not. Does my opinon count-not in the slightest. However now everyone wants Obama to just pull out...hello???? Even I'm smart enough to realize that's just trouble waiting to happen!!! So the people that invaded your home just tell you "Ooops soo sorry we f'ed up, we'll leave now" After killing your family, and trying to change your whole life, they leave and you'll be happy and forgive? Doubted. What about the family memebers that supported them being there? Now because they supported the invasion...now that the invaders have left do you think the family will just hug and forget? No!! So we pull out, now odds are not only will the country decide to get back at each other, but they will also decide to get back at us. Which will equal MORE money spent for protection and/or possible war in the near future. Sorry this just seems like an obvious problem to pulling out too soon before our troops can take care of what is needed to avoid this.

He's been in term for a year...and yes he some of the things that he said would be done in his first term still aren't there. But think of yourself, I'm sure that a year ago you promised yourself that you'd lose 20lbs, start a new lifestyle, get somehting done on your house, fix things in your family...and odds are some of those things you haven't achieved yet. Is the president not human??? Does he possess some great power to fix everything? Yes we are looking to him to save our country, not for nohting but us just UNITING to vote in a african american president is an amazing feat, and if anything this is showing that as a country our economy might not be great but our hearts and our heads are headed in the right direction!!

Last but not least...the older woman that said "you're a hottie with a smokin' little body"...I've read "she's a cougar", She's just looking to make a name. SERIOUSLY????? She spoke what she felt, IT'S FUNNY!!!!!! Good for her for not being so awe struck to not say what was on her mind!!! HONESTLY I was just happy to see that our "buffalonian" that was getting all the attention had all her teeth and actually spoke with some intelligence. Sure what she said wasn't profound, but it certainly was better than "Mr. President- I need a "fricken" job" Seriously WAY to make our city look smart. No wonder you don't have a job, if that's the way you use your vocabulary I wouldn't hire you. Now your picture is associated with that billboard do you think any company worth a damn will hire you after that? What happens if they have to let you go? Are you gonna use your first unemployment check on a billboard that says "You "layed" me off...that 'aint fair". At the very least I'm sure you can find a job with Wendy's, Walmart, McDonalds etc. Work part time...as long as you don't make over a certian amount you can still have an unemployment check and a check from a part time job. But half of the people unemployed are too good to work at places like that.

enough said, I know you wont all agree and I know I forgot things but I feel better.

seriously...buy some damn soap

Okay so heres the deal. We no longer need to bathe or wash our linens, undergarments and dishes...in muddy water. First there was a great invention of soap, this does wonders. At the very least it masks the smell that your body or your lazy butt hasn't taken the time to wash on a daily basis. Secondly soap is great for getting rid of germs. Oh you havent heard of those. Let me explain those are these filthy little vermin that attatch themselves to everything and carry around with them disease, colds, viruses...etc. Even things like e-coli in which if you were not aware comes from your butt!! Next clean water...this doesnt involve the boiling and sifting out of the water from the creek but instead the town does it all on its own!! Sure we pay for it, but it's well worth it when you can have sparkling teeth instead of swollen gums and teeth falling out....oh yes I forgot somehow you missed health and hygeine in high school. Well here is a quick course.

First and foremost the thing sticking out of your bathroom wall that water comes out of is called a shower....SH-OW-ER! Now what you do is you strip down naked hell if you want to wear your clothes in it will do a double service for you since you havent heard of a washing machine. Anyway...get in the shower, with a washcloth (they are a square peice of terrycloth that work very well to lather soap on) or a loufa (kinda like a big ball of net...also to lather soap) put soap on your choice of washing device and here is the kicker....lather and scrub your body. Please do not forget the most important parts under your arms and between your legs. Now rinse...if neccesary (which in your case it is) repeat. Next shampoo your hair and condition if needed. If further explaination is needed please google "Shampoo and Conditioner". When you step out of the shower you now take a large rectangular piece of terrycloth (also known as a towel) and dry off. Now before you get too carried away and feel the need to get dressed just so you dont forget, please take that bristly thing on your sink that has the handle on it and put toothpaste on it and scrub your teeth. This will help immensely with your bad breath and the fur that you feel on your teeth....even better we will really appreciate the extra effort. Next i sincerely hope that you do wash your clothes, especially since I really dont think you know what deoderant is, there fore your stench from the previous day would still be on them. To find out what deoderant is...please google.

Okay so now....god forbid, you have decided to procreate. Lord help us-I am unsure as to why perfectly wonderful...clean...people are unabel to have children and then YOU are able to concieve. Not lord help us....Lord help that child. This is where washing your dishes comes in huge. Do you really want your child to be exposed to more germs than what our world already exposes on a daily basis. Let me break it down even more. When there is GRIME around the screw top of a childs bottle, when there is formula left from the day before stuck in the nipple because you are unaware to turn the nipple inside out to wash...and rinsing does NOT count as washing. Lastly drop ins for playtex are not reusable to the point that they smell like musty old water and mildew. Reuse....1 day. This means if you are giving them formula in one bottle, you can use it again for the day, but the following day when you pull out a new bottle...you pull out a new drop in. New meaning...not rised...it mean out of the box of "drop-in's" that you purchased at the store. It's not like these are expensiver for a box of 100, you pay $10. Hell when you buy a new bottle there is a dollar coupon off the drop ins...so you now pay $9. Last but not least a nipple is not meant to be used from the day the child was born until they stop using bottles. There is a little infor also when you buy the bottle that if the nipple gets bigger than the presized piece shown than you should throw away and buy new to avoid choking.

To finish off...at the very least when you wipe your child, make sure that the poop is all off the butt cuz incase you dont know...dried on poop is harder to get off than fresh poop. I do hope that you take the time to do this to yourself...if not please do not shake my hand. If it is a boy pull the skin back from the head of his penis to avoid infection and absesses or at the very least skin irritation. Tell me as a woman would you appreciate if your vagina stuck together? I think not. I would think that if you knew how to get pregnant you know what a normal penis should look like unless of course you just let him do all the work. But further more apparently this is a cleaning thing that some hospitals dont take the time to explain how important it is!!!

Imitation does NOT = flattery

Imitation isn't uncommon. However I think it is important for someone to act...idk like themselves and NOT someone they strive to be. However we all know that as parents monkey see monkey do...and do...and do...and do. Unfortunately it seems that they like to copy the behavior that you least want them to! But for purposes of this blog this isnt just about being imitated by just your children, but also by those people who strive to be better than you or out do you to make themselves look better. But in reality they just succeed in making themselves look....well...stupid!

First lets start with our children. It is so cute when they want to put on your make up, or even better when they pick up the broom or mop to help out...after all we all strive to have our children pick up the slack that we sometimes just dont have time to get to right??? However the first time they repeat a naughty word...or god forbid a manuerism that you are oh so guilty of-all of a sudden you first hand have to see the flaws in your parenting!!! The thing I am most famous for-just ask my mother- is rolling my eyes. Honestly I don't even realize I'm doing it...Hubby even yells at me for doing it. Seriously I think it is an involuntary movement that I aquired at birth! Well apparently so did my beautiful wonderful DRAMATIC daughter. Really...REALLY??? I suppose it has all just started. She dispises wearing clothes...this also is a trait she learned from me, and pretty sure my son will be following in the same footsteps. Now lucky for me I do not smoke (over a year smoke free...yipee) and husband does not chew so I will never have to witness my children copying this behavior. Yes I have seen it before...a little girl pretending to smoke her pen, a little boy wanting to spit in a cup like his daddy. This out of all the thing I find the most disturbing. If you couldn't quit for your child in the first place-seeing them copy your horrible habits should easily make you get your priorities straight!!!! What are you gaining by keeping up these habit...teaching your children to kill themselves...fantastic..wow you deserve "Parent of the Year" Award!!! I dont think a lot of parents understand the reality of the situation. Children want to be JUST like their parents. Therefor your eating habits, conversations, manuerisms, and even your bad habits are under 24hr microscope by that "mini me" of yours. If you just feed your kids fast food, spaghetti o's, PB & J, Mac and Cheese do you think you are teaching them good eating habits?? Sure your teaching them GREAT...they are right on the road to being clinically obese...HIGH FIVE!!! It is not unlikely to watch my daughter go take the cucumber out of the fridge and eat it liek an apple. She prefers cheese sticks and celery to fishes and chips. I have fought to keep good food in my home, and this starts young, introduce veggies before fruit. I don't make my children sandwiches for lunch when they are really young. Instead they get a slice of meat rolled up, a couple high fiber crackers (aka: triscuts, wheat thins) a cheese stick a a couple celery sticks or carrot sticks or whatever veggie is laying around. I also do not make them eat EVERYTHING on the plate...but anyway food is another topic for a blog. All I am tryin to say is...act as you wish your children to act...or else you will have a little you running around making your life well...not fun!!

Next onto adults. We all know this person...and unless you ARE this person...we all want people like this to go crawl in a hole and stay there, because we have absolutely no use for them. Yep it's the I thought of it first, I'm going to do it, I did it too, well I can do it better person. My grandmother is dating one, and I also have to put up with one that I have been soo good about keeping my mouth shut about cuz in all reality I'd like to punch her. You know what I mean??? Now if you are this kind of person for the love of God...STOP!!!!!! Quite honestly I'm telling the people I care about of what is happing in our lives right now, and you have managed to look like a COMPLETE MORON because you are constantly saying somehting to try and rival it or out do it. I dont know maybe your not even realizing you're doing it. But let me just say you wont be teaching your kids A THING in becoming and INDEPENDENT, self suffieceint, creative human being. Instead they will become, like you, copy catters (lol...took you back to middle school with that put down didn't I) I'm sorry but there is nothing that peturbs me more!! Are you really that boring of a person that you cant find your OWN way to do things??? I mean I get why you want so bad to be like me but really...tsss...you can't touch this!! LOL

To put it bluntly: Poop

Why poop? What in gods name can someone say about poop that would make it interesting enough to make it to a blog? And I say to you "This is me we're talking about". Okay so...here's the thing. Poop-there's nothing spectacular about it, interesting in any way, it isn't something I pride myself in having-but it's life. HOWEVER..now I am a parent, and once you are a parent you have a WHOLE new appreciation for feces. Lets start with when I first realized that I was happy to see poop! My daughter was only a couple months old, she had been miserable for ddddaaaayyyyysss! After a week of not pooping we were sitting in my mothers shop and she grunted...and I...felt my shirt get wet. Immediately you know why-but what was my reaction? No I did not gag, I didn't whine, I didn't laugh...I cheered her on!!! You may think that is crazy but after not seeing poop for a week I was over the moon excited. After about five min she was finally done, I took her in to change the diaper and I sh*t you not (no pun intended) It was from back to belly and at least an inch deep. Yet again I was not disgusted by this-instead I took my phone out and took a picture and sent it to friends and family to show them that she finally pooped! To this day this little girl still has pooping problems and to this day I still take pictures to send to show everyone just what came out of her. Trust me it is amazing!

As you can see you really don't appreciate poop until you have children. To add to that you really don't appreciate the peace and quiet of a poop until you have children. Most mothers know this feeling-once upon a time you could walk into the bathroom and use it (one or two) with no interruptions. NOW...so not the case. Either Kaelin comes walking in "What chya doin mommy" "going potty Kaeling" "one or two mommy" "just one Kaelin" "oh just peein' mommy" "yes Kaelin" "I sit and talk to you" and if by some strike of luck she actually doesn't come barging in...my husband does with baby in hand to ask the most assanine question that clearly could have waited til I came out. However don't try to compare your experiences to your husbands because they just don't get it! A man poops for 30+ min...pretty sure two of that is pushing, 28 of it is just enjoying the feel of the toilet seat on their as*es. Now do the kids bother him while he poops...noooppppee. I can't even be in there 3min without interruption and he's in there 30 and has nothing but peace. When I am home alone my son comes in with me, or even if hubby is home but he's busy...I just take Gage with me. However when hubby decides it's time to poop...he just hands baby off and shuts the door!! Must be nice! I guess I should try this at some point to see if it works. Who am I kidding...Todd will swing open the door "everything okay, I thought I better check since you handed the baby to me on the way in" great!!!
While we're on the subject-why is it men cannot get over anything that remotely sounds like Gas, smells like gas or god forbid is gas. I swear they will laugh all day at something that us women find repulsive. Why is it so funny to make us nearly puke because their butts cant seem to hold it in for two seconds. Ew...and when they think it's funny to "waft" it toward you...or even better when they waft it up to their own nose to see if it smells or not!! Now to add to their humor and maturity you decide to add kids---oh my!!! Some where from the day the emerge to their 2nd birthday husband teaches them how to fart on you and laugh-great just what I always wanted wanted my children to achieve!! Apparently these things never get old because my grandfather still finds it amusing to let one rip the minute he gets in the vehicle instead of doing it outside...then giggles. Ahhh the things us women deal with from the men we adore. I promised my husband if he ever tries to dutch oven me he will find himself with some very sore balls. Should we even go onto the subject of sharting???? Ehhh...I think I will leave that to all of your imaginations, or your own personal libraries!

Last but not least we can discuss the way that once you're a mother you become an official "Poop Inspector". When you notice the slightest difference in their eh-hem 'bowel movement' you decide to take it upon yourself to see if you can figure out what caused it. If it's soft, you move it all around to see if you can find I don't know, a seed, a corn kernel, or the color of the mucous that has found its way out so unpleasantly. Then the worst is when their poops are hard and they have such a hard time pushing it out, it is your job to see just how hard it is and squish it to see. This odd behavior doesn't stop once your child is out of diapers...OH NO!!! Instead you get your head so close to the toilet to see why your child has green or pure white (aka: lots of powdered donuts). Even better the amazement of how much feces comes out of a person so small!! I think I have made that point once before...but it is worth a second nod!!!

Now that I spoiled your dinner..

Cleaning

So Wed is my usual day off, and with the smell of spring in the air...it is now time for Spring Cleaning!! Believe it or not...this is the one time during the year I ENJOY cleaning! The windows open, the Fresh air coming in, the Heat turned off. This time of the year is the BEST.

Here I was, laundry first. Is this exciting..no, but I am more productive with it since the change in the season. I'm spent a good 5-10min separating the clothes (if this is something that you don't understand...I will write a blog on how to do laundry and why) As I am separating I realize one down side to this season...bugs. Now I am not a "girly girl" I mess with snakes, worms, dirt, grease, etc but I do put a halt when it comes to bugs. Ewwww the fact that most have more than four legs, and the legs that they have, have little grippers on them should warrant enough of a reason to hate them, but since you asked I will go on. They are small enough that half the time you don't realize they are there until it is too late. When you step on them you get hear that bone chilling crunch that just sends a shudder down my spine. I am one of those people that even if I THINK a bug is crawling on me I will jump up and down and strip all my clothing off...i may look like a fool..but I will be bug free! So why are their bugs in my laundry?? I have no clue, it's not like it was there long, but lets face it bugs like cold damp places and this is one of them. Do you even need to ponder on how I did my laundry?? Short of putting gloves on, my only option was to get it in the washing machine as fast as possible turn it on...PRAY that the water will drown them, and if not surely the dryer would heat them to oblivion. As soon as it's in the wash I do a whole body shake and fan my clothing just in case one decided to get on me or lay it's eggs on me or something like that!! When they come out of the dryer..they will be dead..and I can handle a dead bug! I'll just shake all the clothes outside before folding! No totally kidding, we own tissues and garbage bags all you need to dispose of dead bugs!

Next I did the dishes. Loading the dishwasher, spring got its next negative. Milk doesn't last like it used to in the girls sippy cups! There was only that little bit left in the bottom from the morning before and as I turned the top I saw it was curdled..now why is it that our mind seems to think that just because we SAW it was bad that wasn't enough as a act of reflex my nose had to take a wiff just as the top came off...yep, definitely spoiled! That wasn't it, spring strike three, I'm sweating by the end of HAND washing because the heat of the water plus the heat of outside just downright over heated me!!

Now I decide to take a break just so I can re-appreciate spring before tackling my next job. That...was short lived. The minute I sat down apparently my nose and my eyes decided,at that moment, it is spring indeed, sneeze, sneeze, itch, itch....ssssnnnniiiifff! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? At that point I was really re-thinking how much I love spring time. I popped a Claritin and continued on my journey for a clean house. The dreaded bathroom!

Of course this is everyone's favorite place in the house to clean! Am I right. Something about the thought of how many butts have graced my toilet seat since the last time I washed it really puts a smile on my face. Now you add the dust bunnies that seem to accumulate the last week that the heat is on, Oh and lets not forget the whisker clippings from my husbands electric shaver...because that's definitely attractive! I pull out my "scrubbing bubbles" and become lost in thought that they shouldn't call it scrubbing bubbles if the bubbles don't scrub and I have to add my OWN effort. I seriously contemplated calling the company out on their false advertising...but decided better of it. After about a half hour I stepped back and took a look at my work! All and all...not bad for my time spent. I got down on my knees to pick something up and OH MY!! A little tip for when you're cleaning, unless you want more work to do, NEVER get on your child's level. It's lucky children don't think about cleanliness when they are walking around the house, because let me tell you looking from that level NOTHING seems clean!!! I would HATE to be a midget (or little person-whatever is politically correct for them; personally I've been called a bitch and that's not politica...oh wait never mind) ANYWAY...think about it they are essentially my daughters height but have the mentality of a adult. I'm sorry but none of us walk around on our knees at stores and such and see the UNDERSIDE of everything and know if it needs to be cleaned. They do..it almost makes me want to try just so I can tell the place how filthy they are! Then my train of thought goes a bit further and I wonder.."if you go to an all midget home does the top of everything ever get clean? Kind of like the top of a fan...if you cant see it- it's not dirty"

Needless to say I went back through and cleaned everything ON MY KNEES. I felt good afterward. Very happy with what I accomplished, I sat down on the couch to relax...and what did I see. For all the work that I had put forth, one couch fully covered in folded clothes, clean dishes on top of the counter that need to be put away, dishes in the dishwasher that need to be put away..dirty dishes from breakfast and lunch in the sink....(breath)....laundry that needed to swapped out, leftover lunch food on the table from the kids...toys from one end of the house to the next. SERIOUSLY? for all the work I did, it sure as heck didn't look like I got ANYTHING done.

The moral of this story A mother's work is NEVER done and being a Midget must really suck!

Disapline..what??? Respect....who?

How is it that anymore we are no longer allowed to discipline our children. I'm sorry but the corner for time out only half the time. A slap on the hand is a no no, a smack on the butt...GASP!! I'm sorry but when did our country decide that it is in our best interest to no longer beat our children...err...I mean spank?? Okay okay I get yes to beat them is wrong, most parents would never hit hard enough to hurt their children...more just shock them. But now we're not even allowed to do that. I'm sorry but sometimes yelling, screaming, time out just doesn't phase them.

Have I spanked my daughter...absolutely. Hard, not at all...but because it is so few and far between it literally shocks her. The only time I ever have is when she went outdoors without anyone with her and anyone telling her it was okay. Things that are likely to cause harm to her, something to happen to her...that is when I want to instill the fear of god in her. Do I hurt her...nope, I just scare her. I'm sorry but we no longer are allowed to discipline period. Then we wonder why kids these days are so out of hand. No one DARES to discipline because of the consequences that might come because some adult that never had children saw them grab their childs arm when they were acting up in the store. I've seen these reactions. I've seen the child start kicking and screaming, I've watched the mother try to calm him down, then the mother grab him by the arm and walk out...leaving her grocery cart right there. She had every reason to do so...I would've too if it was my child. However I also saw the other people looking at her with disbelief that she held her child like that. I'm sorry but if you have any good parenting in you, you would not ALLOW your child to act like that. HELLO...if you're not a parent and you think I'm being cruel...go get pregnant..wait til that child is about 2-5 and they have a meltdown in the middle of the store...and THEN come back and read my blog...you will have a whole new appreciation for it!

However I do want to point out something incredibly important...if you feel like you are about to snap...it will not KILL your child to cry. WALK AWAY!! Go outside, the next room, whatever. Put them in their crib and walk away. I can promise you that crying will not kill them...think of it as exercise. However you can kill them...all it takes is a couple minutes of shaking and you could lose your child forever. WALK AWAY!! It's stressful being a parent...anyone that is any kind of a good parent knows that. You're not alone when you need a breather. We all do.

Next lets point out how kids now a days have absolutely no respect for their elders...this is part of the reason. I'm sorry but when my daughter brings home her boyfriend, he WILL address my husband and Mr. Forsyth, he will be expected to eat dinner with the family and he will be expected to sit and have a conversation. Above that...he will have the respect to look my husband and I in the eye when he is speaking to us. Same goes for my sons girlfriends. If you join any family function you will be expected to participate and acknowledge the family or you will not be welcome in our home. Shy is one thing...rude is another. Please, Thank you, How are you, Nice to meet you. Are these things hard to say...i don't think so but apparently kids these days do. I will not stand for it in our home. If you cannot be respectful I will not respect you, therefore if you end up humiliated because I will not be held responsible for how the rest of my family will treat you. I am so turned off by these kids who feel that it is OKAY to not respect their elders. No matter how much of a brat I was to my parents, or how bad I might have been (which honestly wasn't that bad, I believe people just thought worse)...I ALWAYS respected adults, made a point of carrying on a conversation..especially to parents where their children were in my life. Now I look at these kids and it's like it is okay for them to just isolate themselves and only talk when spoken to...IF THAT. News flash people...our children are our future. Dont you think that our present is messed up enough, shouldn't we being doing everything we can to raise our children right so that they can have a better more stable life than what we are all living in right now? Or is it too much of a burden on your life to raise your children with a little respect???

Here...let me get that for you...

Sound familiar? I know it's been awhile since you've heard anyone say something like that. Chivalry!! It's dead, extinct, cu-put! But leave it to me to try to bring back the impossible. I promise you now that my son WILL learn chivalry. Opening doors for women, pulling out chairs, carrying groceries...all this stuff that was so romantic about men has gone out the window since us women felt the need to be equal! Now don't get me wrong our equality has brought forth some great changes, but I also think it has sacrificed some great things also! One being a chivalry.

I for one think that men should have never stopped the chivalry. There is something about it that really makes you feel like a woman. One of my ex's was great with this and it really made me feel good. Yes, at first I was a little taken back, but soon I really appreciated it. I think society has achieved the "equality" but I think that we've lost the respect for all that woman do and/or did. This is such a small gesture but really goes far in how it makes a woman feel. It is no not uncommon to see latch key kids. Kids that are left to fend for themselves from the minute they get home from school until their parents get home from work. It's also not rare that these children also are left to get themselves to school because their parents have to be to work. I think this is a lot of the reason our country is in a downward spiral. Stay at Home moms are few and far between, and when the family makes the sacrifices so one parent can stay home...it isn't appreciated like it used to be.

I hate to break it to you but those of you that feel that SAHM/SAHD is not a job title, I would like you to walk a mile in our shoes. I can PROMISE you that we end up more stressed by the end of the day than most working a "regular" 40hr job. The thing most fail to recognize is when we've had enough we cant just blow up, we cant just go take a break..we do not get vacation time, vacation is our same job just in a different area. Yes we chose this career path..and if you asked me if I'd do it again..I would. But don't tell me my job is easy. We wake up some where around 5-7..normal naps are 9:30 and again at 1. I have 2 or 3 extra kids a day and I'm constantly trying to find things to do to keep them occupied. Parents pick them up around 5:30...husband home at 5. From 5-8 I'm working in my shop. I DON'T GET BREAKS...so when you see me and my hair is a mess, I'm still in the clothes I wore yesterday and no make up...do not laugh, do not comment. If you do I cannot be held responsible for my actions there after. My family comes first. I only shower on the days I plan to get a little action or I can ACTUALLY for once get in without someone crying screaming or yelling. I cook I clean I raise children. If all I have to show in the end is a happy family regardless of how much money we have or how much of a mess my home is...I have succeeded. You...you will receive a paycheck-me I will recieve endless love. Which means more to you?

I'm sorry but by far the best jobs women have ever had and will ever have is being a mother. Now I understand mothers that work...I too work. But you cannot disagree with me that our family lives, our childrens lives and our love lives were definitely best when our country wasn't so caught up in the money you make but rather the lives you touch.

Holy Hygiene!!

Maybe it's just me, but I can spot dirt under finger nails and snotty noses from a mile away. These are yet another one of my pet peeves. This doesn't just involve children either!!

Did anyone watch American Idol?? Okay stupid question, but if you DVR'd it you may want to rewind to Tim Urban, and we'll thank him for today's snarky blog. His fingernails...yes were clean but they were RIDICULOUSLY long. Does he plan to pick his guitar with those? I can promise you he could. How did American Idol miss that...or maybe they purposely zoomed in to try and gross people out so that they wouldn't vote for him...conspiracy?? Go figure!!

Now to children. We all know they love to play and they keep their hands constantly going. However when there is dirt caked into their fingernails and they are still young enough that they ALWAYS have their hands in their mouths...or yours, am I wrong in saying you should try your best to keep those hands clean. When you spread the fingers and there is all kinds of gunk built up in between...I promise you that didn't happen overnight! Children play, hands like this aren't abnormal, however if you don't clean them...they just get worse and disgusting!! Would you be okay with seeing that on your own hands. Okay maybe some of you do, and if that's the case...please keep your hands to yourself! Then the LENGTH of fingernails (or toenails) is also a topic that needs to be addressed...I'll give you some inside information, if you keep the nails short...it's less dirt that can get caked under them!!! I know....why did they not explain that somewhere, well that's what I'm here for. I'll give you a swift kick in the butt to get you going, and a slap across the head to knock some sense in ya!!

Next move to toenails...apparently neglected for some. I have to PIN my daughter down so I can cut them she screams and screams but it needs to be done!! I'm sorry but when toenails are curling around the end of the toe it is WELL past needing to be cut, you practically need to take a sander to those puppies. They may fight it...but it's HYGIENE!! If you have a hard time dealing with a infant/child attitude what are you gonna do when they are a teenager?? They are still too young to take care of themselves...ERGO IT IS YOUR JOB!! If you can't handle it then why did you have children in the first place?


I almost missed this problem. Runny noses and crusty noses are two different topics. Children are practically KNOWN for the constant running nose and coughs. However a runny nose is one thing...and crusty nose is...gross! Kaelin has allergies therefore he nose never ends...so much so we've been known to carry a hankie. I understand around the house it is one thing, knowing that that poor baby will get a bath later on and get that taken care of...but for pete's sake if you are going out to public...wash the crust. I'm sorry but do you really want to give your child a complex at 6mos old. Come on all it takes is a damp cloth. If your child seems to constantly have this problem..take my advice...Vaseline!! smother it on, it really makes sure those nasty little snots have nothing to adhere to!!


In conclusion: Your hygienic duties do not end when you get out of the shower!! In fact as most mothers know-more often than not, our personal hygiene comes last!!!

Off Subject...Marriage

For those of you that don't know, my husband and I married July 19th, 2008. The date of our Wedding was literally 2 days before the year anniversary of our first date. Fast? Maybe to some people. Was I pregnant? Not at all. There was no question after the first month of dating that this was the man I was going to marry. Lucky for me...he felt the same. Three months into our relationship two days before Kaelin's first birthday he told my parents he was going to marry me. Well from then on is history. Now lets cut to the chase!

What does any of that have to do with my blog? Well, in 5 days my daughter, my son and myself are all leaving for Florida for 10days. Yes as you can see in the equation my husband is missing. He does not have enough vacation time, nor does he want to use his sick time at work...therefore he is staying home. This has it's ups and down, pro and cons, good and bad...etc. Good side/up side/pro: My husband has a job and....okay I guess that's the only up side...but it's kind of important so I'll take it. Bad side/down side/major con: How will I possibly live without my husband for 10days????? We do not do well with time apart. The longest we've been apart is 4 days...and each and everyday I cried...


Okay so I didn't finish this before we left and now we are home from vacation and I can go on...as I expected it was horrible. Yes i had fun with my children, but no matter what we did I couldn't help but feel the emptiness. My husband completes our world, he completes our fun. Everything we did just made me wish he was there, and miss him more. Needless to say I was more than ready to come home-and honestly I think so were the children.

The reason I started this blog is for the neigh sayers, the disbelievers...the jealous women (and or men) who do not understand the "relationship" thing. I cried everyday the week before we left just in anticipation of not being with my husband. I cannot tell you how many women I have come across that looked at me and said "one day you'll be glad to go on vacation without your husband". Now why would I EVER want that????? That will NOT happen, and I WILL prove you wrong. If your marriage is like that than why are you married?? We don't do separate things, we don't go out without one another. Why?? Not because he said I cant, or I said he couldn't, not because we don't drink. Because we don't enjoy ourselves without one another. There have been many times I have said to my husband...go ahead, go out I don't care you deserve it. His answer?? "not without you". Last fall my sister and I had to leave our husbands for a long weekend to go south and watch my cousin get married. My sister and I PLANNED a night out with the guys for our husbands, left them money got their ride together...everything. Had we not...they would not have done it.

Another thing I hate?? "oh well you guys are still newly married, it wont be the honeymoon phase forever"....oh well I'm sorry apparently my parents are still in the honeymoon phase because they are still happy, sexually active, and don't like to spend time away from one another. They are our model, this is who my sister and I strive to become. This is what I want my children to have someday!! If you ask me to chose a side, my children or my husband...I will chose my husband. I KNOW...I'm a horrible person but before you jump to conclusions...hear me out!! We are raising our children to conquer the world..ON THEIR OWN!!! I don't want to have to worry that my children cannot care for themselves in their 30's. Will they need help...absolutely! But that's what parents are for...but help isn't a lifestyle..it's short term...get them on their feet again. I'm not married to my children, once they leave the house...god willing...it will stay that way, then what is left? My husband...he is who i CHOSE to spend the rest of my life with...through thick and thin, good and bad...in sickness and in health.

One of the best words of advice I have ever heard is from Will Smith believe it or not. During a interview (I believe I was maybe 16) they asked him about his marriage with Jada and why they have worked when most Hollywood "marriages" fail. His answer? Divorce is not a word, nor an option in our household. Society has "ok'd" the divorce rate..it's okay, you messed up-try again...and you know what if you mess up again, go ahead have another try...in fact-try as many times as you need, and if by the time you die you've broke a million hearts and still haven't found the "one" then apparently love just wasn't for you. SERIOUSLY?? don't take the plunge if you're not 100% sure this is the man/woman you want to spend forever with...not just right now. Do I think that their is only ONE person made for us..absolutely not, but ya know what, there are very few that you know you could spend the rest of your life with as a spouse. I get that some relationships end for GOOD reason...but most, do not!! Men/women shape our outcome, every person that you have dated has been like a pro and con list. Think about it...really. Your first boyfriend to your current (husband or boyfriend) pro and con them... Now. I'll give you a couple minutes.




Okay I bet, as long as your smart, that you Pro list has grown since your first, and your con list has shrank right. Or if at the very least the worst of the cons is not repeated in future companions. If so...congrats-you are headed in the right direction!! What if it's not??? Well apparently you haven't got the dating thing down and now you can take a pointer for the "know it all" Jesika! Yes that's sarcasm masked in a little bit of anger but moving on :o)


I just have to conclude this novel by saying....my marriage is happy and it will stay that way. It will not be easy, there will be bumps in the road...he will hurt me, I will hurt him...but in the end we will not give up..each an everyday I kiss him and tell him I love him, we keep our sex life alive because it is important, we discuss our problems and both of us do not feel like we lost just because we apologize. We're going to have tempers, we're going to have tears...but in the end as long as we have each others arms to fall into-then we have succeeded....and WE are HAPPY. Who wouldn't be if they had our life??

Potty Mouth Parents

I'm not saying I don't swear. In fact if you were to know me in high school, you would be amazed to talk to me now! In high school, my most favorite word ever was the "F" word. Now I have to say that it is the one I hate the most!!!

The minute I found out I was pregnant with Kaelin (aka: The moment parenting begins) I swore to start watching my mouth. To this day I can say that it's very rare any swear words come out of my mouth inside my house...at least while my children are around. Even when my children aren't around my potty mouth is almost non existent. The "F" word is almost non existent in my vocabulary. Why? Honestly step back and listen to someone who drops the "F" bomb every two minutes, or even drops any swear words constantly. Now what do you think? Does that person sound intelligent? If you didn't know the person, is it now someone you want to meet? What if they use that language around your children? Now what if your child repeats it?

We're giving the double standard here. We want our children to learn new words, but if they repeat what they hear, and that happens to be a swear word we yell at them. Now I'm not saying Kaelin hasn't heard me swear, I've had my slip ups...no mother is perfect. In fact she has repeated after me. I don't laugh though, I don't yell at her...I ignore it, and feel horribly guilty. Children are so pure and we pollute them with our foul mouthed behavior. I grew up in a house that swearing was a second language. Not in a bad way, my parents have a wonderful marriage, I can only be so lucky to have what that have. Honestly though swearing wasn't uncommon, do I feel like it harmed me? Not at all. Do I think people who decide to swear in front of their children are bad parents...nope. I just would like people to ponder our ease of use of profanities.

One of my true pet peeves is when people on "Social Networking" sites use profanity in their status updates. If you are having a bad day...I don't hold it against you. I COMPLETELY get it, I know there are better ways to express yourself, but sometimes you just want to get it off your chest. Other times you have the people who just use it to use it. This is an annoyance to me. Enough that I decide I don't want to follow your updates. I can promise that the people that use curse words in their status updates frequently are probably using them twice as much in the home environment.

Let me give you some examples of why if overused this language is just not as effective. Go read I don't know, lets say the first 6 chapters of "The Di Vinci Code", now go read the first 6 chapters of "The Last Templar". Very similar books, though not about the same thing the two authors are writing about the same historic groups. I will tell you I could not stand Khoury's book. Why? His use of profanities. Honestly once you use them so much they just don't have the same effect. If you're using the "F" word when your character is just thinking and then use it again when he's yelling at someone...over and over and over. It's dull...the word has lost it's excitement, lost it's pizzazz! You could have just put "the" in it's place and have the same reaction from me! However when Brown writes he's a genius!! When he swears you know exactly how he means it!!

No I will not find it funny if your son or daughter repeats these on a daily basis. If you laugh your children think that it's funny and start to use it as a source of either attention or amusement. Yes it is funny if they are TRYING to say something else but it sounds like profanity. Why is this funny and the other not? Because your child isn't aware of what they are saying, what they mean to be saying is purely innocent, as opposed to actually cursing.

On a closing note-even if you don't have children try to start watching your mouth now, if you really don't care...so be it. Just honestly we as a society use these words far too often therefore they no longer have the passion they were intended for! We've become numb to these words that at one time would've caused an uproar if used inappropriately! Like I said I'm not immune to all of my rants. I am just as guilty, look at prior posts...there are swear words. It's a work in progress, but it's an easy change in your life that can make a big difference in how people perceive you!

Cobedding

Okay so this is a topic with many different views. Here no one is right...I guess it's all a matter of opinion, so of course I'm going to give you mine!

Our family does co-bed...but only for so long. There are pros and cons to our choice. I will give you the reasons why I chose this method. First and fore most I took a early childhood development class in college. One of the things we touched on was of course SIDS. Our country does not condone "Co-bedding" because of the risk of SIDS. However let me prove a point here. Our country is the second HIGHEST in SIDS cases. We are one of the few countries that not only do not sleep with our children but also put them in another room. Japan is second LOWEST in SIDS rates, and it is common tradition that the mother sleeps with their child. Is all of this a coincidence? Possibly...however I like to believe that the correlation is more than just coincidence, but rather proof.

Something else to consider: We are mammals. This shouldn't come to a surprise to anyone, however if it is I encourage you to go back to the fourth grade. Now list to yourself all the other mammals you can think of. Got it? How many of those mammals do not sleep with their offspring? EXACTLY!!

Okay so I know the next thing that is going to come out of your mouth...or through your head. How many people roll over and suffocate the baby that is in their bed? This is not a common occurrence, but yes it does happen. More than likely it is at the fault of the parent due to taking over the counter drugs or drinking, or even recreational drugs. For my family I can honestly say you do not sleep quite as sound when there is a child among you. Your instincts kick in and provided you have nothing impairing your abilities, your body knows not to roll over, etc. At your regular daytime (or evening) jobs you are told not to drink, do recreational drugs or even some over the counter drugs while on the job. Parenting is also a job--I know surprise right? So I encourage you to treat your home life with the same respect you treat your work life! If you do any of these at work you could harm yourself, others, and lose your job, If you can do these at home you can lose your child. I think your home life should warrant even more respect than work! You can find another job, but you can't replace a child. But that's my opinion!

Now let me add to this. I do not think that it is healthy to sleep with your child until they're 10. Even now, my children are in their own big kid bed and in their own room by 1.5. Why? I honestly feel that once they hit a year old their "reasoning" kicks in. They might not understand it completely but they are more equip to listen and semi understand what is going on. Does this mean it will be a cry free transition. Not at all-but I do have to say it is important to do, not only for the child's sake but if your married, for your marriages sake. I'm a strong believer in things that help keep your marriage alive. One of these I believe is...wait for it....SEX.

Now that you are a parent the morning, nooners and well lets just say when the moment strike no longer mean you can just jump on each other. So bed time is an important part of your marriage. This is why my children have a bed time, so we have time for just the two of us. This time is very special and I look forward to it each day. NOT because I am wishing my children would go to bed, but because my husbands embrace seems to melt away all of the things that went wrong that day, his kiss brings me back to reality, and his touch renews my love for him ten fold each day.

I often get "your children are so cuddly". This I credit co-bedding. My children know nothing different than to cuddle their way to dream land from the minute they were born. Kaelin-now 3-has been sleeping in her own bed and own room for two year. At first she would come in halfway through the night and crawl in bed with us...I never discouraged it. If she was extra squirmy that night, when she fell back asleep I would have my husband take her back to her room. Now she sleeps all night in her own room, with not a single peep, when she wakes up first thing in the morning she comes running into our room and crawls in. We cuddle for probably at least 10 min before actually getting up! I love this time of the day! We have a bedtime routine where we cuddle and read books before she goes to her room, so she still even gets her cuddle time at 3.

Like I said this is all matter of opinion, and my opinion may not be "right" but it's "right" for us. If I just got you to think about the "idea" of co-bedding, then I have done my job. Parenting is about thinking of every possibility and CHOOSING which way works for you. No one person is right, no one person is "wrong"....well for the most part, there are people out there that should not reproduce, but we'll leave that alone right now . Just remember if it feels good for you, then no matter what people say...fight your battle, because your battle has a meaning, maybe not to them...but to you! You and your family!! That's it for now!!

FYI: I have added a university study link that is relevant to this topic. Check it out if you would like!! http://www.uoregon.edu/~icds/Evolution_FG_files/McKenna_Cosleeping_1.pdf

Our Love Hate Relationship

Yes that's right, we've all have had this relationship while our children were young. Hopefully you learned your mistake the second time around if you had a second child. Of course I am talking about the dreaded "P" word. PACIFIERS!!!!

We all love them in the beginning. They definitely are a plus to own when you have a new born at home. However past a certain age...THEY ARE NO LONGER NEEDED. This is a big pet peeve of mine! I was guilty of it with the first. Kaelin had her paci until 15mos old. After about a 10mos old she only would get it for naps and bedtime. Unless...and this is the only reason we kept it for so long...she was teething. That little girl did not do the "teething rings", her paci's really helped her during this painful period, though that's not much of an excuse! The minute her two year molars popped through, the paci's went in the garbage.

There are two types of pacifier loving parents. Both fit the "lazy" title but in different ways. The first set of parents are the worse of the two. They are the ones that just stick the pacifier in the mouth to shut the child up. They don't want to take the time to cuddle the child or pick the child up...instead they shove this in their mouth. This is especially the case in the middle of the night. These are the women and men you've heard on the news. I'll never forget when Kaelin was a baby and a 25 year old woman taped her sons pacifier to his mouth one night "because he kept spitting it out"...the result of her ignorance? He died. Seriously...that's just another reason people should be screened when their children are born! That "mother" should be sentenced to death by Pacifier Suffocation!!

Some parents take their love for the pacifiers to the extreme. I'm sorry but if your child is still sucking on a pacifier past the age of one (yes I was guilty, I'm even yelling at myself) SHAME ON YOU!!! It is especially bad if they talk with the pacifier in their mouth! UGH!!! Really?? At the VERY LEAST take the paci away while they are awake!! Yes now that your child is old enough to realize that they are missing it, your battle just got a million times harder. They have proven that past six months there is no NEED for children to have a pacifier. Parents just don't want to listen to the child cry, and therefore give in. Piece of advice...the minute you give in, is the minute they realize they are in control. Not a good thing to let your child have more control then you. Remember you are the parent.

I was PETRIFIED to take Kaelin's pacifier away from her for this reason. I was soo worried she would carry on all night long, and it would be so traumatic for her. Well I couldn't have been more wrong. I told her that other babies needed pacifiers so we needed to give em to the small babies who need them more. I think it took 20min of crying and it was over. She really didn't even fight it! I've heard at the longest three days. Three days of tantrums are worth it. Studies have shown that Pacifier usage can cause permanent damage the growth pattern of infants teeth. Luckily since Kaelin didn't have her paci for long after her teeth came in, we didn't cause much damage. But look at these 2, 3, 4 year old children walking around with a pacifier in their mouth. The ones that talk with it in their mouth...come on parents can't you at the very least make them take it out to talk??? It's like watching someone with a mouth full of food talk, except children are hard to understand period let alone with a mouth full of plastic.

Now I can't just lay blame on parents. The industry is to blame to! Just like the industry pushes formula (this will be another topic) it pushes pacifiers. What happens at the hospital? They have pacifiers for those babies as soon as they come out. Fine! Not a big deal at that age babies need the suckling motion for comfort. However next time you go to the store waltz over to the baby section and look at the pacifiers. Of course they have every shape and size, boy vs girl, with bling, without it, hell even the pacifier holders have gotten beyond just for purpose, they are down right stylish!! Now take a closer look at the age ranges. Newborn, 0-6mon, 6mon +, Then 12mos +, 18mos +. Really? Are you completely serious I'm sorry but when the pacifier itself resembles more of the whole boob rather than just the nipple, that's just getting creepy!

I am ending my rant with a couple of ideas for you parents who are still allowing your child to suck a pacifier, past the point of which it is necessary. Hopefully one of these will help you break your child of their habit! On this note..please don't just throw the pacifier away if you haven't already started limiting it. If your child is using it all day everyday, start by just offering it at naps and bedtime. Then just at bedtime..once you are that far THEN proceed with the following if you choose. A child is not an adult...they don't understand "cold turkey" and to just take it away without gradual weaning will cause both you and your child a lot of stress!!

-Like the one I used with Kaelin: A lot of little babies really need pacifiers, so we need to pack them all up and send them to the babies so that they will feel better!
-The Pacifier fairy is coming tonight and if you surrender your pacifier she will leave you something very special. (if your child has more than one pacifier, let this span out over a couple of nights, and once all pacifiers are gone make sure to reward your child with something EXTRA special)
-Each night before bed cut a little bit of the tip of the pacifier off, In a couple days there will be nothing left to suck. If your child still wants to go to bed with it even without anything to suck on..so be it, at this point it is no longer a issue.
-Take your child to the store, have them pick out a sleep buddy. Anything soft will suffice. Explain to your child that their new sleep buddy needs the pacifier or it wont be able to sleep. Allow them one more night with their paci. The next day cut off the tip and sew the paci to the stuffed animal. Explain when they go to bed that their baby animal needs the paci now.
-Spin off of previous post, Buy a buddy, sew paci on immediately. After about a week, remove the paci from the buddy and your child. They will overcome the paci problem together and if your child is sad because no paci explain to hug their buddy, cuz they know how it feels also.

For further info please check out this link, I personally love the ideas they have!!:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1109555/how_to_get_rid_of_the_pacifier_.html?cat=25


TODAYS DISCLAIMER: I know I have many friends who's children still use a paci. Just so you know, I don't think you are any less of a parent because of this. I love you all and I love your children to pieces. I just hope that maybe I've given you some insight that might make the transition easier on you and your child! After all you'll have to wean them eventually anyway, no one will send their child to school with a pacifier...or at least I hope!!